Not Sure

Today I did WI and I gained more than 2 lbs.  I know why I gained cause I haven't been paying any attention to my eating other than eating what I want to with a bit of "attitude" of "I dare you to say anything." 
I am in the head space that this is a lot of work... I am tired of work... I am tired period.  That is probably why I am so grouchy on here lately.
I have been successful in other areas of my life - been cleaning out rooms - feels good to declutter!  but why can't I declutter my body. 
I am back battling dr's again. Isn't that an awful thing to say?  "Battle a dr"?    I took a reprieve cause I was too tired of explaining myself over and over and dr's not listening.

Long story... if you care to read...
My GP moved offices and I didn't go with him as I found he was too comfortable with me.  Meaning, he felt he knew what I was going to say before I said it and had already made up his mind what he was going to do about "it" before I said it.    In other simpler terms... he no longer listened to my concerns.
So... with him leaving the office I had to decide who I was now going to see.  So I chose a GP that actually is a friend of our family.  Well, he is a he.  I didn't really feel comfortable seeing him for paps or even other personal things cause I don't like having coffee with someone who knows SO much about me!   I trusted him fully that he wouldn't say anything to anyone about my medical issues (his wife is also a dr in the same office and he never said boo to her about ANYTHING - and I mean anything... he even left it up to me to tell her that my SIL passed away in 2008).  So trust is/was not an issue. 
BUT
I have been 3 years trying to get to the bottom of a pain under my ribs, thyroid issues and other things that he seems to ignore.  He has tried to pin depression, PTSS (post traumatic stress syndrome) and other such things to explain my symptoms.   I disagree, not to all of it but to how he is explaining it.  Depression is a symptom of a problematic thyroid.  Yes I have PTSS because of many things that have happened in my life - believe me I could write a big fat book!  
Anyway, my uncomfortableness has escalated... I was seeing another dr in the office for my personal things (pap) and she has recently left the practice.... but another gal has taken her place.  They don't like it when patients jump from dr to dr but since I had seen this other gal I tried to see the new one that took over her clientele.   I got in and so far I got some more scheduled tests to look into things that have been stagnant.

You see I landed in the hospital a couple of months ago with heart attach symptoms... they sent me to a neurologist who sent me for a CT scan looking for clots and improper blood flow.  It all came back normal... but what didn't was my thyroid.  I have already had my left lobe out a few years back and now the right lobe is covered in nodules... so he highly suggested I get it looked into further (with my existing GP - he didn't follow up with me as he didn't feel it to be necessary)

Furthermore, previously I had gone to a guy that specializes in gall bladders due to the pain under my ribs (on the right side).  He found my gallbladder functioning properly but during one of the CT scans they found something on/in my lungs that they felt should be looked into further.  (My existing GP did not follow up on this as he didn't feel it was necessary) 

Even further into investigation I have had several Fasting blood sugars done.  Well, I just recently found out that the test results say that my blood sugar has been high and they consider me border line diabetic.  (BUT my existing GP did not call me or follow up on these tests He did not feel there was an issue.)

SO, with all that said and done... I took a breather from dr's for a month.  I had to gather my energy, do more research and wait for the new GP to come full time at the office.  
I called, made an appt with Dr M and was able to get in to see her same day and because I was considered a "patient" of the dr that left I was able to see her for a "regular" appt. - even tho my "regular"  GP, Dr V was in the office at the time)

I wanted to approach her with my issues in a nice calm way... explaining I am still needing to get answers and do follow-ups to my specialist appts.   She was quite shocked that nothing had been done yet and she was also the one who pointed out from my recent blood tests that my fasting blood sugar was high. 
With all said and done... I now have an appt with my endocrinologist, a scheduled ultra sound for my thyroid, a CT scan for  my chest (all in November) and I did another line of blood work.
Not sure what all is happening from here but I will plug along and see what my endocrinologist has to say.   All my tests are scheduled for AFTER my appt with him... but we will see.

Meanwhile, my weight loss is not going anywhere.  I really need to get on track and meal plan - I have a lazy streak and it is showing badly in the cooking and grocery department

Thinking of closing...

I have been thinking about closing this blog.  Having more than one blog can keep one far too busy and I was mostly using this one to whine.  
Weight loss is a life long road and when u are a yo-yo weight loss person like I am the blogs get to be the same old, same old.  Did good today - bad tomorrow - good this week, awful the next.   Very boring.

This does not mean I am going to stop working on staying healthy but my passion for writing here  started out to encourage others to keep going - well, I have a feeling no one reads this blog anyway so I am throwing words out into cyber space that doesn't need to be cluttering up the cyber world. 

So this will possibly be my last post here...