I Finally Did It...

I made the call... to JC... simple really.. I went online and it said to press a button for an instant call back.  It was definitely a call back in an instant!  No sooner had I pressed, my phone rang.
I chatted with a lady for about 15-20  minutes - paid a fortune and now I wait for everything to arrive by UPS on Wednesday. 
The lady I spoke to was very easy to talk to.  I was VERY reserved cause I am very educated about the what and what nots... I also don't like "salesmen or woman".  She was very conscious of me being reserved but soon melted me and I loosened up a bit (when I say a bit - it was only a bit). 
I am still struggling with the fact that I should be able to do this with WW and not resort to JC but I did find huge similarities and I also like one perk they have... Its called the Metabolic Max... yes I joined the most expensive program they have... but on the other had you get big perks.  I figure I have spent a lot of money with WW and I would be spending more each week going but not moving my weight.
Back to the Metabolic Max.  This is an item you wear on your body and (in short) it records your calories in and out. You plug it into the computer and it keeps a diary for you - of course its only as good as you program it :) 
But I think this is something I need.  Exercise is one thing that is truly lacking in my "program".  I also think I need a 1:1 person to talk to.  I know there is a lot more to my weight issues than just portion sizes and what I put in my mouth.  There are a lot of deep issues that I push waaaaaay down and hope they will go away.  Ironically, they don't go away, they pop out in other ways... my weight, my emotions...
Yes, I hope I get a good consultant that fits "me".  I can see it becoming a counselling session each week over the phone but I think I am ready for it now.
I really want to know why I can't keep my weight off and I think this might be the answer.
You know I was only 10 lbs away from my goal weight in 2007 then....... shit happened and I let it get in the way of my success. 
I will admit I get comfortable then I let things slide... once they start to slide I start to gain... then I go into "I don't care" mode...(but I really do care) and I spiral into an upward slope of weight gain that I am no longer controlling.   THAT is what I have to STOP.   I have to become accountable for my sliding.
So with that said - my accountability has started... Wednesday I will open a treasure box... at the most busiest time of my week!
I have a sheep fleece sale coming up this weekend that I am getting ready for, setting up and organizing.. but hey - when is it EVER a good time to start?  Tomorrow never ever comes, so the best time is

NOW