sheepishly popping in

Hi - Yes I am still here... since my last little rant and stomping of feet I went down 1/2 pound.  I will be weighing in on Wednesday - yes I am a die hard... I rant but keep on, keeping on. 
I had a down day today - its that female thing - it always takes the wind out of my sails.  Hopefully tomorrow I will have a day of accomplishments instead of a day on the couch aching from head to foot, blurred vision and ignoring the phone. 
Yesterday I stepped on the scale unofficially and I was down about 4 lbs - I really really hope it shows up like that on the official weigh in. 
I need to find my mojo in everything.  I am behind in paperwork, have done ZERO Christmas gifts, haven't decorated my house yet, haven't written and sent my Christmas letter yet... Yeah I am really a lump on a log right now.  Not depressed... just feeling a little swamped.
I have inspiration I just need the energy to get it done.
One day at a time...
P.S. what would you do if you had someone consistently complaining about something ( a lot of it is legit) but if that person would try to find the good things in day to day... and stop trying to be a perfectionist and wanting everyone else to be perfect around them... yes, I am getting brought down by this.  AND I try to say things gently about it but the person takes things very personally and thinks I am against them too.  *sigh*   I get called 6+ times a day about some complaint or other... to the point where my hubby doesn't wanting me to answer the phone - but I do.
I love them dearly but its very discouraging and I think my listening is becoming an enabler.

Going no where fast

I had a very disappointing week - its becoming normal... I have gained nearly 3 pounds.  Not what I was expecting.  I didn't diligently track but I did track and I was careful what I ate.  It repaid me with a slap of fat on the a**.
Losing weight should NOT be this difficult!
If I lost weight as fast as I gained I would be aneorexic by now.
I'm trying not to get frustrated by it.  But when my doctor shrugs her shoulders and says there is nothing wrong so there is no reason why I shouldn't be dropping the pounds.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it ME? as in all in my head? What am I NOT doing?  Yeah I am NOT slugging away in a gym - that costs money and I do not agree that I have to bust my a** in a gym to get results.  I don't want to be a body builder I just want to lose some weight.
When I did go to a nature path I was losing weight... but then she yelled at me and reprimanded me for losing muscle and not fat.  That ended that relationship.  She never told me how I could switch it around she just got mad at me for doing it.  She wasn't helpful at all and left me feeling like crap.  I make myself feel like crap all the time I don't need someone else doing it too.

I haven't fully ruled out a nature path... but again... why should I pay that kind of money to get results?

I don't get it... honestly, I do not get it.

I have 50 pounds to lose and I have NO IDEA how to get it off.