What would you do?

have a question for all you people working away at weight loss, healthy eating and moving more.



A little history first...

My mom has recently moved in with my brother and his wife and his MIL. My mom a couple of years ago was very very sick and no Dr seemed to be able to help her so she went to a naturepathic physician. This NP did wonders with my moms health - BUT a lot of it had to do with food allergies.  She was put on a strict diet which has now become more lenient as she can tolerate a lot more foods again.

Now, my brothers wife and MIL like to cook full fat everything (they put whip cream in their coffee, use a whole large full fat sour cream at one meal, always have hi fat/sugar desserts on hand) - they are German and can they cook mmmm! But the fat/calories can be out of this world. They also do the grocery shopping. My mom does request her things and they may get it but my brother is baulking at it HUGE.

He says there is cheaper alternatives...and he asks... who says you have to be a certain weight - who says you have to eat that or can't eat that? If it was an allergy then if you ate it we would be taking you to the hospital cause it would kill you. (My mom gets respiratory distress but not to emergency levels). He's even complained that her "food" is filling up the fridge and has to go. Her "food" usually is low fat/sugar or natural products that need refrigerating.

I don't know what to tell him and I don't know what to tell her.

I did tell her to not put her things on the communal grocery list - just buy it herself - as for the space in the fridge? I just thought of telling her to get her own mini fridge for her area of the house (she has a private bed/bath & sitting room) BUT then he may complain about the electricity! yikes... he says that his electricity bill has doubled since she moved in but I reminded him of the many things have happened since she moved which would cause a higher bill such as: fans and heaters put in his boat for days after it was brought in under cover and needed to be dried out... his basement flooded and fans and heaters were needed to dry that out along with sucking up all the water with a wet vac (got 40 canisters!).... The weather dropped to below -12 for a week...

My mother is 72 years old, nearly 73. She needs to be warm - my bro will go to work during the day and has the heat programmed in the house to drop to 15 degrees... that is too cold for Mom and his MIL too!  They were wearing coats, wool socks and slippers to stay warm!  My brother is burnt out and frustrated (at many things) but not necessarily ready to listen about this... he thinks its nonsense.  Especially when one day  Mom will be regiment about her "diet" and other days not so much so he says its hard to take her seriously.   I think he has been getting pressure from others in the house...its work and a big change... they are tired when they get home.  He just wants everyone to eat the same thing and be happy about it.  Also, I do not believe they know a whole lot about nutrition.
One of my bro's comments were  - who made up all these rules anyway?  I said the Canadian food and exercise guide... he said yeah but WHO?  Some whipper snapper fresh out of University?  I then told him he was being ridiculous...
 
On one hand I am sure my mom could look at other options. My bro was saying he could get a loaf of bread that is the same calories/fat/fibre etc as another type my mom likes and it  costs less and everyone will eat it.  But my mom comes back with "but I get 2 slices of mine and only one slice from the loaf you want."   His comment to that was cut "my" bread in half and you will  have 2.   He has a point! but then again so does she.
*sigh*
 
 I am the middle person. I see both sides for the most part... This shouldn't be a problem... but its becoming a mountain.