I am really at a crash and burn. Last week I gained 3 lbs. I was doing so well and the coin flipped and completely destroyed everything I had done and more.
WI is coming up again on Wednesday. I really don't want to go - I have been fighting and fighting and fighting to get this weight off and I seem to only gain.
I wanted to have 20 lbs off before dh and I took a trip to Europe to a wedding ( it was totally doable under normal circumstances) - its going to be formal wear. I am going to look like a big fat cow in a bunch of ruffles.
I hate the way I look - I really do - I don't feel beautiful anymore - I definitely don't feel sexy. Faaaaaaaaaaaaar from it.
I shouldn't have to absorb myself in a stringent way of eating and not get another thing done... it seems if I am not thinking about absolutely everything I eat, I gain. a handful of chocolates in 7 days should not destroy the number on the scale!
I am at a severely low moment and its not going to get better cause there is no way I can lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks. I can't even lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks.
I'm tired of this, I really am.
I need to shop for a formal dress - I don't want to do it. I would rather miss the wedding.
My hair is gross too. I hate my short hair. I want my long healthy hair back... but that is just a dream - I haven't had long healthy looking hair for 4 or more years. my hair just won't grow. Heck it took 35 years to get as long as it did.
My husband was right. Don't throw the fat clothes away - I need them now.
I have a very beautiful formal gown but I am too fat to get into it.
Signed,
Smothered in tears
1 comment:
Oh Marianne. sending (((hugs))) to you from Ontario. It sounds like you're working SO hard and seeing no results. That sucks!!! I'm not sure if I can help you at all... just a hug and to let you know I'm thinking of you is all I can do .........perhaps the plateau you're on will come crashing down SOON~~
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