I had a very disappointing week - its becoming normal... I have gained nearly 3 pounds. Not what I was expecting. I didn't diligently track but I did track and I was careful what I ate. It repaid me with a slap of fat on the a**.
Losing weight should NOT be this difficult!
If I lost weight as fast as I gained I would be aneorexic by now.
I'm trying not to get frustrated by it. But when my doctor shrugs her shoulders and says there is nothing wrong so there is no reason why I shouldn't be dropping the pounds. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it ME? as in all in my head? What am I NOT doing? Yeah I am NOT slugging away in a gym - that costs money and I do not agree that I have to bust my a** in a gym to get results. I don't want to be a body builder I just want to lose some weight.
When I did go to a nature path I was losing weight... but then she yelled at me and reprimanded me for losing muscle and not fat. That ended that relationship. She never told me how I could switch it around she just got mad at me for doing it. She wasn't helpful at all and left me feeling like crap. I make myself feel like crap all the time I don't need someone else doing it too.
I haven't fully ruled out a nature path... but again... why should I pay that kind of money to get results?
I don't get it... honestly, I do not get it.
I have 50 pounds to lose and I have NO IDEA how to get it off.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Stamina
Ive been working on things again. Trying to stay focused. I have gone from using my WW app on my iPhone to writing things down in a 3 month journal. I write everything down... everything.. even if I don't know the points, I am writing it down anyway.
I have had some incredibly weak moments - and I had some today... but tomorrow is a new day.
My SIL shared a video on face book and I have decided to share it here. It touched me deeply - more deeply than I want to admit.
The Amazing Transformation
I have a lot of ideas and hope to put them into action. I fight against myself wanting to do it and the body resisting. I get tired before I start.
I have decided to step back from more volunteer jobs that I do to make room for me and my hubby. I have to be careful though as I have the tendency to step back, then sit down. Or better yet (or not better) fill it with something else to keep me busy instead of focusing on what I should.
Prioritize... what is important
1. family
2. animals
3. hobby
4. health
not necessarily in that order but that is my 4 main focus's. I tend to get side tracked... each of those "titles" have a huge number of outlets
for example: everything has a responsibility and what I list here is a drop in the bucket to some of the things that I do under each title.
Its easier to cheer on others than to cheer on yourself.
Its almost more satisfying too.
Its easier to say "you did good" than 'I did good".
I have been listening to myself lately when I talk... I talk very negatively on any subject. I was at a rugby game today and was talking to a lady who was very excited about the game. We got onto the subject of bad coaches and bad players (meaning yelling at Ref or playing dirty). This game wasn't like that... why did I get on that subject? Why would I say a negative thing like that to bring the other ladies excitement down? Our team lost 21-20... but that as pretty darn good! They played hard... so hard in fact that one man broke his collar bone and the other dislocated his shoulder. Yeah Rugby is a rough game.
I find I am quick to pick apart... I am my own worst judge... definitely one part of me that I don't like...
One day at WW we were told to stand in front of the mirror every morning for a week and look at yourself, then tell yourself one good thing about you (something different every day). I promptly forgot to do it but when she mentioned to do it I couldn't think of one good thing to say about myself. I thought "there is no way I can do this". Probably why I promptly forgot about it. I have always looked in the mirror and picked myself apart not told myself whats good about me. 45 years of that kind of training and its fairly stuck - in a rut -
Trying to change that way of thinking isn't easy - I am always looking at "what was", and don't like "what is" but now I am hoping for "what can be"
With the empty nest at home and with both hubby and I needing to get into shape and stick with eating healthy - I am thinking of making one room into a workout/guest room... not that hubby would use it (that's a whole other post) but if I start maybe he will join me. Its my journey, but its nice to have company along the way.
I have had some incredibly weak moments - and I had some today... but tomorrow is a new day.
My SIL shared a video on face book and I have decided to share it here. It touched me deeply - more deeply than I want to admit.
The Amazing Transformation
I have a lot of ideas and hope to put them into action. I fight against myself wanting to do it and the body resisting. I get tired before I start.
I have decided to step back from more volunteer jobs that I do to make room for me and my hubby. I have to be careful though as I have the tendency to step back, then sit down. Or better yet (or not better) fill it with something else to keep me busy instead of focusing on what I should.
Prioritize... what is important
1. family
2. animals
3. hobby
4. health
not necessarily in that order but that is my 4 main focus's. I tend to get side tracked... each of those "titles" have a huge number of outlets
for example: everything has a responsibility and what I list here is a drop in the bucket to some of the things that I do under each title.
- Family: my children> my husband>mother>FIL/MIL> nieces> nephews> brothers> SIL's>extended family: cousins>aunts>uncles... etc
- Animals: farming > cows> sheep> alpaca's >chores > selling >buying > breeding > paperwork > etc
- Hobby: spinning yarn> weaving>knitting> needlework> genealogy> painting/drawing> photography> travel > etc
- Health: getting fit> healthy (happy) weight
Its easier to cheer on others than to cheer on yourself.
Its almost more satisfying too.
Its easier to say "you did good" than 'I did good".
I have been listening to myself lately when I talk... I talk very negatively on any subject. I was at a rugby game today and was talking to a lady who was very excited about the game. We got onto the subject of bad coaches and bad players (meaning yelling at Ref or playing dirty). This game wasn't like that... why did I get on that subject? Why would I say a negative thing like that to bring the other ladies excitement down? Our team lost 21-20... but that as pretty darn good! They played hard... so hard in fact that one man broke his collar bone and the other dislocated his shoulder. Yeah Rugby is a rough game.
I find I am quick to pick apart... I am my own worst judge... definitely one part of me that I don't like...
One day at WW we were told to stand in front of the mirror every morning for a week and look at yourself, then tell yourself one good thing about you (something different every day). I promptly forgot to do it but when she mentioned to do it I couldn't think of one good thing to say about myself. I thought "there is no way I can do this". Probably why I promptly forgot about it. I have always looked in the mirror and picked myself apart not told myself whats good about me. 45 years of that kind of training and its fairly stuck - in a rut -
Trying to change that way of thinking isn't easy - I am always looking at "what was", and don't like "what is" but now I am hoping for "what can be"
With the empty nest at home and with both hubby and I needing to get into shape and stick with eating healthy - I am thinking of making one room into a workout/guest room... not that hubby would use it (that's a whole other post) but if I start maybe he will join me. Its my journey, but its nice to have company along the way.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
BC Circle Tour
I have just updated my steps on here... I have 117,500 more steps to go to complete my walk around BC. I will definitely finish that by the end of 2012
That is 19,584 steps a week... or 2800 steps in a day... at this moment I average 6000 steps a day... and when I get out and away from my desk I average 10000 steps a day.
I have to admit I am ready for this to be over ... I have been doing walking challenges for 3 years now... It has helped me to see that I need to get out and walk more - awareness is good. So now that I am aware I don't feel the need to do these challenges.
It has been good for me and for others that have been a part of this challenge.. don't know what Jill will set up as a walk/step challenge for 2013... I'll see ... I may or may not join. I will probably miss the star stickers we get at the meeting ;)
I don't care how 'grown up' you are - a sticker still means a lot when you have achieved something LOL
I do like walking... and what even makes it better is when I have my camera with me and I can capture many moments and memories.. and beauty of nature and farm.
That is 19,584 steps a week... or 2800 steps in a day... at this moment I average 6000 steps a day... and when I get out and away from my desk I average 10000 steps a day.
I have to admit I am ready for this to be over ... I have been doing walking challenges for 3 years now... It has helped me to see that I need to get out and walk more - awareness is good. So now that I am aware I don't feel the need to do these challenges.
It has been good for me and for others that have been a part of this challenge.. don't know what Jill will set up as a walk/step challenge for 2013... I'll see ... I may or may not join. I will probably miss the star stickers we get at the meeting ;)
I don't care how 'grown up' you are - a sticker still means a lot when you have achieved something LOL
I do like walking... and what even makes it better is when I have my camera with me and I can capture many moments and memories.. and beauty of nature and farm.
Liebster Award
I was nominated for this award by a friend, Jodi from In My Corner... oh dear... not sure if I am up to this! I was told to have fun with it... I am not used to this type of attention and I definitely shy away from podiums! I will do all the grunt work to research for a nomination; I can give praise to anyone and encourage them along but I am so not used to the tables being turned!
It apparently is to get more followers on your blog... I am finding out I have several people that read my blog but I was not aware cause they don't leave comments :( and they have not officially signed on to follow me.
I don't know if I have 5 bloggers to link this too but here we go...
The Rules:
1. State 11 personal facts.
2. Answer the questions from the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 5 bloggers who have less than 200 followers (no tag backs) and ask them random questions.
4. Complete your post.
5. Link up your post on the originating bloggers post.
Personal Facts
- I tend to sit at my computer way too much - either doing newsletters or organizing events for volunteer positions I have or paperwork for my farm
- I have way too many patience for my 18 year old cat that keeps peeing on things in my house
- I have big dreams/goals and am the worlds biggest procrastinator
- I am an empty nester - and actually enjoying it :)
- I love to knit, weave, spin yarn on a floor wheel or drop spindle.
- I like to wear "old fashioned" clothes - yep the long dresses - or ballgowns from the 1800's and before.
- I hate shopping - yes I am not the type to be going to the mall and spending hours & $. I am very practical - if I don't need it I don't get it.
- I don't like cooking cause that means I have to clean up after and I hate dishes.
- I love to read historical books and watch the history channel - gee am I boring eh?
- I could sit in a yarn shop - in the middle of the floor and close my eye - breath deep - exhale... and that's my yoga
- I was going to leave this for a later date... cause I am a procrastinator LOL is that personal enough?
And here are my questions from Jodi:
1. If you could be any person of the opposite sex who would it be? WHY?
I have never wished myself to be someone else... wouldn't even know who to chose. When younger I wanted to be a boy cause I thought life was so much easier for them in so many ways... but never wanted to be a specific person.
2. If your life were a book what would the title be, what would the cover look like?WHY?
Title from my point of view or my kids? LOL hmmm, The Wild Journey... and it would have a picture of a grass field with sheep, alpacas and cows chewing on a round bale of hay with me wrapped up in the middle with my eyes peaking out
3. What does a typical day in the life of YOU look like?
haahaha oh my... well, its swish and swipe, make bed etc... go downstairs and find out what hubby has planned for the day (that will depend on what my day will be like) - then I am either running around for others or office work or out with my sheep or with the cows; on the phone with my mom... I don't know... every day is different.
4. What is a hobby you have always wanted to try but haven't? And what is holding you back from trying it? Hobby;s are one thing I have never held back from. I have tried everything I wanted to try and if the whim hits me again I will continue to learn something new.
5. What are three words you would use to describe your style?
Plain, to the point, boring
Well, that is pretty much me... I have a real hard time with these things. Cause I am just ME I don't k now how to explain me.
I am a party pooper.. I don't have anyone to send this to.
Hope it hasn't freaked you out to find out more quirks about me.
Friday, November 2, 2012
?? Title??
I am finding titles to my blog posts very repititious... so for a loss of words and repeating myself I have left it up to you to decide.
Thank you to those who sent me kind words after my last post. Although I do get frustrated, deep down I know I will continue the struggle - cause if I don't, god only knows how much weight I would gain! At least now, although not at a healthy weight for me I am maintaining within 5 lbs.
On a very positive note, My mom has been doing very well. She has broke through that 180 mark and staying below. She struggled for some time due to food that has been served in the home she lives. Everyone has thier cooking night but the family members love thier bacon, full cream, whip cream, icecream, cakes, potatoes and cooking with a lot of fat. Fat isn't a bad thing but in high quantities, not so good. My mom has a hard time saying no... and when you live in the same house it is nice to have cooking nights off but it truly backfires. Especially since my mom has a lot of allergies to different foods and many times she would eat them so she didn't have to cause friction or just tired of explaining herself.
Its hard to stay on program (no matter what program you may be on) when no one understands what should be along with your strengths and weaknesses.
It does take work - and I am the worlds biggest procrastinator and seem to be getting worse as I get older. I always say "tomorrow" but we all know tomorrow never comes.
So what am I doing about today? I have started off on a bad foot already - missed breakfast and am making turkey bacon, hashbrowns, eggs and fruit for lunch.
I haven't had anything to drink yet today... yah, need to get my planning cap on.
One thing that has me baffled... I have been having a lot of acid reflux at night over the past week and yet last night after my birthday dinner of eating foods I was completely prepared to douse myself with Tums after... I slept like a baby and never had anything close to a tummy ache. That was with no Tums taken. weird...
My body really confuses me! LOL
Time to bring the heavy machinery in and grade my road so its a little smoother.
Thank you to those who sent me kind words after my last post. Although I do get frustrated, deep down I know I will continue the struggle - cause if I don't, god only knows how much weight I would gain! At least now, although not at a healthy weight for me I am maintaining within 5 lbs.
On a very positive note, My mom has been doing very well. She has broke through that 180 mark and staying below. She struggled for some time due to food that has been served in the home she lives. Everyone has thier cooking night but the family members love thier bacon, full cream, whip cream, icecream, cakes, potatoes and cooking with a lot of fat. Fat isn't a bad thing but in high quantities, not so good. My mom has a hard time saying no... and when you live in the same house it is nice to have cooking nights off but it truly backfires. Especially since my mom has a lot of allergies to different foods and many times she would eat them so she didn't have to cause friction or just tired of explaining herself.
Its hard to stay on program (no matter what program you may be on) when no one understands what should be along with your strengths and weaknesses.
It does take work - and I am the worlds biggest procrastinator and seem to be getting worse as I get older. I always say "tomorrow" but we all know tomorrow never comes.
So what am I doing about today? I have started off on a bad foot already - missed breakfast and am making turkey bacon, hashbrowns, eggs and fruit for lunch.
I haven't had anything to drink yet today... yah, need to get my planning cap on.
One thing that has me baffled... I have been having a lot of acid reflux at night over the past week and yet last night after my birthday dinner of eating foods I was completely prepared to douse myself with Tums after... I slept like a baby and never had anything close to a tummy ache. That was with no Tums taken. weird...
My body really confuses me! LOL
Time to bring the heavy machinery in and grade my road so its a little smoother.
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