A - Z of Me

I snagged this from an awesome friend....

A. Age: 44

B. Bed size: King

C. Chore that you hate: Um... all of them?! seriously now, dishes and... oh right one thing

D. Dogs: Shadow - my beautiful border collie... my golden retriever passed away this year :(

E. Essential start to your day: Being or at least feeling organized

F. Favourite colour: green and blue

G. Gold or Silver: Gold

H. Height: 5' 5"

I. Instruments you play: recorder (haha) a tiny bit of piano

J. Job title: Domestic Engineer, e.g. wife, mother, farmer, nurse, maid, cook, ... you get the idea

K. Kids: 3 - 2 girls 1 boy

L. Live: In southern BC -

M. Mother’s name:  Eleanor

N. Nicknames: THAT I will not tell :P

O. Overnight hospital stays:  a couple...

P. Pet peeves:  When ppl put dishes on top of the counter instead of in the empty dishwasher

Q. Quote from a movie:   "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"

R. Right or left handed: right handed

S. Siblings: 3 brothers

U. Underwear: underwear? HA

V. Vegetable you hate: turnips

W. What makes you run late:  ppl who want things as I am about to leave on time

X. X-Rays you’ve had: a few - mainly to find pnemonia

Y. Yummy food that you make:  that debateable and personal preference

Z. Zoo animal:  didn't we already talk about my kids? HAHAHA

Wedding shower and Christmas dinner

This weekend has been a busy one... I made it through a wedding shower and my first Christmas dinner... now I have already made it through 2 Christmas parties!  But today was a dinner at my house.  I over ate a bit but I made healthy choices and that's what matters right? :) 
My next dinner (at my house) is on the 26th... just hoping i get through these holidays with staying the same weight.  If I lose that would be a bonus...

Made it through

I have made it through some hurdles... not listed on my previous post.
I had a Christmas party on Dec 1st - I went off slightly but nothing to be ashamed of...
Came home to find a Caramilk  bar taped to my cupboard door... hubby decided to be sweet to me.. and well... it was bitter sweet ...
When I had left for the party I left a note saying what was for dinner... hubby added his "Thank u Sweets" and taped the bar...

I decided it could stay taped to the cupboard - it has been REALLY tempting some days - and it drives my kids CRAZY that I am not eating it!  They want it and I say NO. 
So proof that it is still on my cupboard as of Dec 6th...

You may have noticed that there is a chunk of paper out of the corner! No I did not EAT it! lol  My darling eldest daughter wrote "way to enable her Dad!"   I thought it to be a nasty remark beside my thoughtful hubby's "Thank u sweets" so I ripped it out.
As I write all this down I am thinking of taping that bar solely to the cupboard and when I reach goal I will eat it... by then... who knows? Maybe I won't want it at all!

Oh and that ain't all!
I had yet another Christmas party tonight.  I took a veggie platter as it was potluck.  I made sure I had loads of veggies and garden salad then had a tiny bit of a few other things... it looked like a lot on my plate but it was all lettuce!  I also took my water bottle and while others were having punch and "added' punch... I had my water.  I did allow myself one tiny chocolate chip cookie and an almond chocolate cookie that was even smaller than the small first cookie...

So... tomorrow is WI... time will tell if I did well or not... here's to hoping the scale is nice to me!

Back at it

Today I am back at it. 
I had a very firm talk with self and I have come to an agreement that I MUST do something now before I end up as a candidate for the Biggest Loser.

It helped that some of my awesome friends (love them dearly!) have decided to start up a challenge (kind of)... It is basically challenging all of us to either sts over the holidays or lose weight over the holidays... in other words; stay in control.  Don't be that 85% that gain 10 lbs or more over the holidays.
I am stepping out of denial and here are
My goals:
1) On Dec 17 is my Cousins wedding shower (be down 5?)
2) On Dec 31st is my Cousins Wedding (be down 10?)
3) On Feb 27 is my 24th Wedding anniversary
4) In June is my Son (last child) grade 12 graduation (be at goal)

I have about 30+ lbs to lose. Can I do it in 7 months?  I think it is doable... the first two goals may be pushing it a bit (unrealistic) but I am going to try darn it!
Hurdles for december:
* wedding shower
* wedding
* 3 christmas dinners

Time to get going on this! Time to stop hiding, whining and lazin on the couch...
Boy I hope I can keep the momentum up
Thinking possitive... thinking possitive... thinking possitive... I am going to need a lot of help here!

Still here

I haven't left - will never leave -
had a long talk with my chiropractor... he has been with me through thick and thin -
I have knee issues and our conversation started when he told me my knee is wrecked and may need surgery... and my weight is a factor especially going up and down stairs or trying to sling bales.. the twisting is a no-no but my weight doesn't help.
well, he hit a nerve and knew it - but he was very sympathetic.  He told me I was never going to get back to pre-baby or young twenty body.. I said I could hope can't I?
I dont' feel beautiful... I WANT to feel BEAUTIFUL!
I am back up over 180... I did STS this past week but I am certainly no biggest loser.
I'd be voted off in a flash with all the whining and complaining I do and no weight loss.

I did take my bike into the shop to get the back tire changed.  Will attach the bike to my stationary frame.  Supposed to ride it a minimum 30 minutes a day.  He wants me swimming too - I guess I should get to the pool - boring when you have no one to go with.  He wants me to walk lots... that I am kind of doing.  I have a walking video I guess I should use it in the bad weather.

Not looking forward to the pain in my knee when I start cycling or swimming... shock wave therapy (on the lowest setting) is torture!  I got a migraine from it this week - I was so stressed, jaw clenched, shoulders tight - all in anticipation of this wonderful shock wave therapy.  I have to admit it has helped - or should I say it has taken some of the tension away on my knee (not my neck or jaw!) but now my ACL and the Collateral legaments are super sloppy and cause more pain and I have to wear a brace to keep things from going in the wrong direction when I am twisting.  I didn't realize how much I twist until he got things loosened up.


Someone please come and kick my a** I really need some motivation and ENERGY.

Train Wreck

That's me... a complete train wreck.
No excuses,  I have been eating whatever I want, when I want.
I feel absolutely ICK!
Bloated, blah, crappy, tired, getting grumpy and down right ICK
But I complain royally when I can't fit into something.
I'm tired - tired of trying to lose weight, tired of not being able to lose weight, tired of being fat, tired of people telling me how I should do it. tired of looking at pictures of myself before and after and after and before...
Yep, a complete train wreck.

Oh Dear!

Well, this past week has been a life of Riley... many parties, including my own birthday.  I don't expect ANY loss tomorrow - I FULLY expect a gain and for good reason.
My hubby got me a sweet card and flowers for my birthday then sweetened the deal with halloween chocolates - they are on sale now you know! lol

I still have that half marathon on my mind... my friend isn't able to compete with me... but I really think I will do it even if its alone.... Thinking about this, I do have someone else I could ask.  there is a gal at my WW meeting that may be willing... hmmm if I see her tomorrow (if she attends) then I think I will ask her.   I better get all the info together...

I didn't...

I didn't blog about last week...
I didn't put up that I gained 0.4lbs
I didn't write that I kind of got into a "whatever" state of mind
I didn't track this last week
I didn't get angry with myself cause life moves on whether I do or not.

To do or Not to do...

I recieved an email the other day from the Running room.  I get them regularly and they are usually about sales in thier stores... the odd time I get ones about where marathons are taking place. 
I have done WW/Running room 5 km challenges a couple of times but I haven't actually done an official marathon. 

I Started training for a full marathon (26K - walking) a couple of years ago but had to quit due to an injury.  The injury still bothers me but I am getting regular help for it at the chiropractors, physio and reflexology and am hoping that will get me through.  It has come a long way - well sort of.

What I am thinking is signing up for the 10K or even the half  - if I have someone to do it with it makes it a whole lot easier.  I have a friend that I am hoping will join me - we can train together and do it together.  She's a busy gal but we have had discussions about getting more active and doing more exercise cause we do feel much more better about ourselves when we do.

We talk about going to water arobics - been once together - but this could be put in as part of our training... it is a great work out and I enjoy water workouts better than on land lol.
Time I looked into the drop in schedule.

This is what I am thinking of signing up for
Historic half marathon

Gives me something to look forward to in February instead of just my wedding anniversary  rofl!

workin' it

I decided this morning to stay upstairs and get some work done - which means I skipped breakfast.  I used to be a regular skipper but have tried to break that habit...but I knew that if I went downstairs I would get involved in something else and wouldn't get back up to sort through clothing - something I have wanted to do for a couple of weeks.  Out came my summer/winter bin - I went through it, my drawers and the closet.  I now officially have less clothes than my hubby (I got rid of a few things of his too).   I got rid of anything I haven't worn in some time, anything I won't wear even if it fit me and anything that has never fit right no matter what weight I am. 
All said and done I filled two garbage bags full to the top.  I now need to get some steps in that will include vacuuming. lol 
I have even removed the bags from the house - they have gone to the local value village to be loved by someone else. 
My breadmaker died a couple of days ago and I bought a new one... The old one was dropped off at the recycling depot today. Its behind the grocery store so very convenient when I had to pick up kitty litter and a few veggies :) 
Going back to the (old) breadmaker... I made 2 loaves and the dough came out medium grey.  It literally looked like galvenized steel color.  I didn't think that to be too healthy.  This machine has lasted me 15 years at least - its my second one - the first one died just shy of its 1 year warranty.  It has been well used and when I had a close look the paddle looked like it had been getting worn and something in the bottom was leaching grey stuff... I figure it does not owe me anything.  Its been a good kitchen companion and made a lot of yummy tasty bread, buns, cinnamon rolls, cheese bread, raisin bread... mainly the dough as I don't bake it in there. I use the dough setting and bake it in the oven. mmmmm 
hmm,  I should set some up to go tomorrow - got all the points figured out a long time ago on most of my recipes :)

ooooooooh Boy!

Wellllllll, I kind of got off to a bad dinner last night.  I had a healthy one just over ate (made home made pizza) - then today it went from bad to worse!   I was hungry and we stopped for a pee break on the way home from Vancouver - I thought I was doing good by grabbing some baked Old Dutch chips for a snack but later found out I could have had 2 - YES 2! bags of Baked Lays for the same amount of points... I also grabbed a kit kat - now I usually grab the small one with 2 sticks... or even 4, then I share.  But they only had the KING size - they are short sticks but there are many.  Oh boy, yes, I ate the whole thing... 8 points..   At lunch I was right on track for the day (before the chips and bar) but then hubby got a free mcd's cheese burger - it IS monopoly time... and yes he used the coupon and YES I ate it!  another 8 points.. *sigh*
Breakfast wasn't so  hot either - I always make turkey bacon but my dear son was craving pork bacon so he bought and made some - I only had 2 slices but found out after that I could have triple that in turkey bacon for the amount of points it was!  I had a sullen reminder on why I eat turkey bacon and NOT pork bacon!
I have two 17 year olds in my house right now... and they saved me... I went into the fridge about 1/2 hour ago (which prompted me to write here) and I was looking for the left over pizza... well they had already eaten it!  so I closed the fridge and came here to write.  Gotta drop it here and off my mind to move forward...

Dinner tonight is VEGGIES all the way... thank goodness for those extra weekly points...

Goal met yesterday

I have set a personal challenge to walk at least 12,025 steps to reach my goal of getting across Canada by December 31, 2011.   Yesterday at bed time I noticed I had just shy of 10,000 steps on my pedometer.  So, determined to get the steps in, I started walking around the house and up and down the stairs to the basement.  My cats looked on and followed me part of the time - sticking their head through the stair railing to watch when I went down & up them - of course they wouldn't follow down there although one of my cats could definitely use the exercise! lol 
In no time at all I had my steps in and could go to bed... funny thing was I woke at 2:30 am and realized I hadn't taken my pedometer off! hahaha now that diligence!

Skinny days

I absolutely love it when I wake up in the morning and I feel skinny.  I step on the scale and it hasn't changed much but I FEEL skinny!   I am not bloated, no severe pain under my ribs (just a dull one), my face isn't puffy, my hands and feet aren't swollen... all due to me eating healthy and not eating what I have been told my body is sensitive to.
Yep I am having one of those days... now off to get my steps in cause I have figured out I need a minimum of 12,025 steps per day to finish my walking challenges by the end of this year...GO ME!

Weighing in

Today was WI day... I am pleased to say that even though I missed weighing in last week I lost weight.
I was worried I would have done damage with my crazy eating and with all the halloween candy my darling hubby brought into the house... and I ate.
I guess I saved myself by diligently tracking for 3 days before weigh in. lol
But I do have an issue with the scale... my scale said I was down  a pound.  When I got to WW I stepped on a scale I don't normally weigh on (they have 3 and I normally weigh on the far right one but I weighed in on the far left one) and I was only down 0.4 lbs.  I will take it but my scale is usually very close if not spot on the same as the WW scale I weigh in on.   They say they are all the same but I have my doubts.   If next week I have a big weight loss when stepping on the one I usually use, I will definitely be bringing up the fact that they are different!

Today I have tracked... most of my food - I need to add a few things.. do you know that a subway cookie is 6 points? sheesh!  um yah, I had 2 today - knowing full well what the points were.

Trying not to fall into  my mindless eating.  I should have had a glass of water - or chewed on some gum...
My head seems to be getting into the right space again so I am going to ride with it.
... to another week... I will be waiting til the last minute to get my DL renewed... maybe my face will thin down in a week and a half.  phhfffffft!

Not too bad

This is day 3 of diligent tracking.  Pretty proud of myself! Considering I have been ignoring it for some time and having a severe lazy streak... thought about it lots before but I am now putting it in action!
Now if I could just get this tension headache to go away! 
Life has had its ups and downs with teenager and renter (2 completely different issues) and they both came to a head this past week.  *sigh*
But head held high and onward I march - hope to have good results on the scale tomorrow.  I took a sneak peek this morning on my scale and it looks promising!

Weeeeeelllllllll

It has been awhile since I have written as I am sure some of you may have noticed.  As the days add up so does my weight. 
I can't seem to get a handle on it.  I am managing to stay within a "range" but its 25lbs over the range I want to be. *sigh* 
Yesterday I started tracking again.  I skipped breakfast (lack of not knowing what to eat) and lunch consisted of left overs.   I tracked... but then I went into dinner with a blank brain and ate whatever. actually I got into my daughters halloween candy and had mac n cheese with sliced weiners and icecream cake for dessert... *sigh*   I didn't track dinner.
Today, I am attempting to track again.  I had 2 boiled eggs and 2 slices of bread - 8 points.
I am headed to the feed store to pick up some stuff for my animals and it also has a grocery store so I am going to pull out my pen n paper and make a list.
This is what I NEED to do - to start:   no more chocolate! no more diet cola!  decrease the milk products (makes me bloated) and try and eliminate the bread - sandwiches are just too easy to make. 
I need to wean my self back on the program slowly - making things a habit again.
I don't want to be big and fat when my sons grade 12 grad comes along in June... I didn't want another fat picture on my drivers license for the next 5 years either but nothing I can do to change that now... and same with my passport... its getting renewed now too.  *sigh*  gee I do  lot of sighing now.

Been thinking... its time to go through my clothes...  I have a lot in my drawer that I don't wear even when I am "lighter".  So I need to stop hanging on to them and let go... not sure why I have them - but its time to get rid of the objects that only take up space - just because.

Honesty

Its been awhile since I posted... and I will admit I have been dragging my feet.  I did however have a huge surprise today - literally made me laugh hysterically!
I have been gaining these past 2 weeks (tom) and sliding off the wagon.. its tough to break my 2 week cycle... good 2 weeks not so good for another 2 weeks -which is my main problem and why I am only maintaining.
Anyway, back to story - I just knew I was going to be up again this week.  I was totally into the "lazy" with no tracking, haven't gotten groceries (need them desperately) and then the power went out (oh gee do we have a bbq?) instead I bought large pizza's and ate on them for 2 days.  I had cut back on the chocolate but was sure slurping down on the no caffeine no sugar cola (with tonnes of ice) lol  
So when I stepped on the scale.... (I did have in my mind that I just might not go to this mornings meeting but I did - as too many people would miss me - and make comments next week)
Back to the scale - have you ever tried to push all the air out of your lungs to see if you could do damage control? rofl!  No I didn't do it but I thought of it... On the scale I go, wearing the lightest clothes I could find that were clean... the gal wrote down my weight and collected the money.  I didn't want to look cause I knew it would be bad.  BUT out of the normal, instead of folding the book back up and handing it to me she laid it down open - yes I glanced cause the gals in the meeting (especially my Mother who sits beside me) would ask how I did. 
I was SHOCKED - I BURST OUT LAUGHING and yes I SNORTED and yes I turned a lot of heads (those waiting to weigh in).   I was dumb struck (very rare for me)  I couldn't believe it - the way I had been eating for the past 3 weeks I figured it would show another gain as it had the last 2 weeks  I will never ever ever understand this body...
I was down
yes, DOWN
and not just a little bit...
I was down 1.4 lbs!!

Keep on Tracking....

Another week down and I AM down... 1.2 lbs.
I was hoping for more cause I weighed myself that morning at home... but then I got dressed. *chuckle*
They need to have weigh in booths so you can get naked. hahaha

I over ate today... had an 18 point breakfast... don't ask... hubby mentioned something about left over pizza I had made... so I went searching... I never found any but I did find some other stuff that needed to get eaten up.  I was satisfied with the breakfast I had chosen for myself (6 pts) so I have no idea what came over me to "eat".   That's all I did was "eat".  I did count it... and I was left with 11 points but lunch will probably destroy that fast.  I need to go grocery shopping and I am grabbing all the wrong things.  I even ate spaghetti and meat balls out of a can COLD cause our 1 year old microwave just stopped working today - Karl and Katie got warmed lunches but it would NOT work for me. :(   I won't go into it cause the whole situation made me very grumpy.

My WW App just reminded me to track so I better listen :)  I understand one gal is having trouble with her app... try deleting it and reinstalling.  Sometimes that gives things a kick start.

Cheers!

So Happy!

I have to admit I am way less stressed since I have quit JC.  It is the night before weigh in... I am back on weight watchers and have been tracking very well up until today (go figure).  But I still think I have done okay.
No matter I am trying my darndest to track and that is what is important.
I do have the WW App on my iPhone and it helps greatly!  No excuse not to track when it is right in front of me all the time.
So I will post again tomorrow and let you know what the verdict is... I am optimistic :)

A must share

 HAHAHA I so feel like this at times.. thought it to be so appropriate.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  hehehehe

Prodigal has returned

Yep, the guilt is over. 
and so is the program.

I gained 0.7 last week... and I quit JC.  

I was getting so sick. I felt bloated, breaking out in hives, the pain under my ribs that I have suffered with for a few years now had gone from "can live with it" to "very uncomfortable".
  The diet is very high carb and I still struggled with eating food out of a box or package.  I found the sodium high even though they said it was the recommended daily dose... but at home I don't ever cook with salt.
 I even only use mild spices.   Reason being is I get bad acid reflux... and my acid reflux was coming back with a vengeance eating their food. 
It was a very different way of eating... I don't deep fry my food) - I bake,bbq or broil - I don't eat breaded fish, chicken, beef... unless I make it and know what goes in it but that is RARE and they sent me breaded food all the time.  The snacks were, in my books, junk food.  I may have "junk food" 2x a week  but they had me eating them daily (again more sodium and carbs) 
On top of it all... I had a very hard time with the fact that it was food coming up from the USA.  I like to support my own Country and I felt I was betraying that.   Also, when they send you a packaged meal containing meat and you don't have to freeze it, it just sits on the shelf until its time to heat up and eat... WHAT pray tell, kind of preservative is in that package?
Last but not least... I did not mesh with the consultant.  She wasn't very supportive and certainly did not have any idea about me or my life.  We had NOTHING in common other than she had lost 40 lbs and I wanted to lose 40 lbs.  The girl who signed me up on the program I was able to talk to very easily and she "got me", "understood me".  Too bad the 2 couldn't switch roles.

I feel I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders (and pocket book too, yikes!)  The only disappointing thing is I had purchased the program with the FIT Armband - its no good to me off the program and I haven't even taken it out of the package - its fully sealed and BRAND new! They will not refund me the money for it as they say "no program refunds".  
It has been a major learning curve for me *hanging head*......

I am now returning to regularly scheduled programing... WW... where I am the happiest.

End of Week 4

Who am I kidding?
Last week I tried to make myself feel better by doing 2 weights... yep, one with WW and the other with JC. They were both truthful - WW was 2.3lbs higher and JC was .6 lower than my weight the week before.
Well, it backfired...
I really need to be truthful with myself.
I am struggling with the JC food regime.  I thought it would get me more organized but now I am finding it very restrictive.  When I want to go out  I do not want to carry a box with me of food I can eat. When I want to make a nice dinner I want to be able to eat it too instead of "food for you, food for me"
I am thinking I made a BIG mistake! and on top of it spent a lot of money with this BIG mistake.
I haven't even taken the armband out of the box to track my calories in and out... its been a month.  what have I lost in a month?
Well as of today (going by my official weight loss with WW) 2.8 lbs.
I should have lost double that.
Don't get me wrong... I have lost a lot of inches which I am happy with... 7.5 inches down to be exact - that accounts for a lot too.

If I go by the weight I gave JC last week I actually gained 1.3lbs....  If I go by the weight I had from WW I lost 1.6.    My weight as of today, Wednesday is 176.8.
I am no longer going to play with the numbers.  Even if I am down on a Thursday when I talk to JC... it will all even out in the end - and I AM going down.  Its a slow process but it IS happening. 

At my WW meeting today we were told a true story... A lady made it to goal and was asked what changes has she made to get her to this moment?   Her reply was:  "My mind."

I really have to change my mind not just for weight loss but attitude and anything else that may be hindering my progress. 
I think the most frustrating part is when I slip and others raise their eyebrows (or make a comment).  I have to let it go...not let that bother me... not retort... I feel sometimes ppl watch me and want me to fail... to say "see, everyone fails at losing and keeping it off" .   I so want to prove them all wrong.  But my body seems to be proving them all right.

Okay, with that said I have my grocery list in hand and will be headed to the store soon after this to get more fruit and veggies in the house.   Good news, strawberry season has started :)

This journey isn't over til its over...

End of Week 3

Another week has gone by and I think I  am getting more in tune with my eating schedule.  I still need to stop making stops at eating out.  Its just plain laziness on my part.  I am a sucker for subway but when I go - I don't know if its habit or what but I always order a foot long when I really only need a 6". 
I have tried to vie away from any other fast food place so I figure that is a real NSV for me.  On Thursdays we treat our employees for a lunch out... I am now trying to eat my lunch at home before we go and only have a beverage when I go.
One goal I need for this week is to get more water in.  With the cold and wet weather we are having I find it hard to get my water in.  I don't drink much else... the odd time I will have a glass of ice with diet cola... never have liked coffee or caffinated tea.  I sometimes like herbal tea but I prefer hot chocolate - even now I am getting to the point of not really wanting hot chocolate either.  Yeah, I am weird lol.

I measured myself again this week - I lost 3" - the boobs are shrinking fast! Go figure... the part I want to keep!  My waist is shrinking too so that is good - keeping in proportion.

I have 2 weights... I always WI at WW on Wednesday and I was feeling really yucky yesterday morning... the scale showed at home and at WW that I gained 2.3 lbs - so it put me at 178.4 - that was yesterday....
I weighed myself this morning at home and I weighed 175.5 a loss of 0.6   In all honesty that is the weight I gave JC when they called.  I have always found it frustrating I can be down on Tuesday, up Wednesday and down Thursday.  Once again, my body is weird!
I am happy with the week - I know what I can change and have to watch out for... so I am going to get off this computer and get to it! lol

oh, and I ended the week with a stint in the pool last night doing water exercises.  My body isn't in the forgiving mode today but I will work through it. :)  Hoping to make it a regular thing - going to the pool or walking.

End of Week 2

I wouldn't say I am on a roll but I would say I am going in the right direction.
I also would say I am starting to get a little more organized and making sure I have the food for the day ready for me when I get up so I know what I will be eating throughout the day.
ooh now that was a run on sentence!
This past week I did two 5 km walks... WW and the Running Room was having a challenge and I joined in with our group called the Happy Hoofers.  My Mom wanted to participate too but was unable to do it on the date scheduled.   So we did it together the day before.   I probably should have paced the 5km out but instead I guesstimated and we ended up doing 7.5 km - but that's okay! More steps for step challenge to Eastern Canada and to Mexico.
On Sunday I went to the Running Room and walked the 5km with the group.  It was a good walk and I had to put little effort into it so that tells me I am in not too bad of shape :)  I could have walked faster but one of my walking partners was struggling so I chose to stay with  her.
I've been cutting down blackberry bushes and power washing our house so I claim that as activity too!

All in all it wasn't a great loss that I had but it WAS a loss and I will take that 2 weeks in a row.  I lost 0.8 lbs.  I am now 176.1   I was hoping to get below 175 but next time.. cause after 2 bbq's and a couple of binges I stopped hoping :^P

Not just counting weight losses... I lost on the measurement end of things too - the first week I lost 3.75 inches and this past week I lost 0.75 inches.
Question tho... why is it that the boobs disappear first! I would prefer the stomach or waist... I have a flat butt so I would like to keep some of that! hehehe

On to week 3... my food arrived today but I haven't opened the box yet.  Will do that first thing in the morning.

End of Week 1

Drum roll please..........ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Okay, I did pretty good on this first week. I will admit I did not follow it 100% (eating all JC food) but I did eat how they set it out... breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack -bed   and I increased my water (fluid) intake.  There is only 2 beverages I tend to pick from and that is water or diet cola but the diet cola is mostly water anyway cause I always fill my glass to the top with ice so that a straw can not fit and put pop in it.  I measured it once and I am only getting about a 1/4 of a cup of pop depending on the size of ice cubes.

It has worked well for me to have food available (ready to heat & eat) at my finger tips. When I did chose something else off the "menu" it was healthy as well.  I am a Subway nut... so that is my eating place of choice when out.   Hubby has always liked McDonald's but he is slowly turning himself around... I am trying to cook more at home so that helps him too. 

Well, I have a call coming in at 10am from my JC "leader".  Can't remember what they call them.  Will see what today's conversation turns out as :)

Oh, suspense!  I nearly forgot to tell you how much I lost!
I lost 2.7 lbs.
Not bad for watching portions and not binging eh?
    

It isn't all its cracked up to be

Yes, I am doing JC... barely... but I have to admit it HAS helped to get me on track...
I will start with the pro's

1. I am portioned sized...
2. I am eating more veggies & fruit
3. I am drinking more water
4. I am eating 4-5 times a day
5. I am aware but not obsessing
6. The food is there for me to grab when I am on the run (which is most of the time)
7. I am learning things

Con's

1. I am having a hard time with the "American food" because I am an avid believer of eating "at home"
2. JC is American based
3. They eat differently in America... for example
4. some of the food is extremely spicy and in cream sauces which  my stomach can't take so I have been having Tums quite regularly
5. I have never eaten so much sweet stuff in my life
6. Their prepackaged popcorn and other chippy snacks are so salty I can't eat them
7. I have a gal that calls me once a week and I can contact her thru email too but so far I haven't been really impressed with her.. I love my WW leader... this gal (my support) lost 40 lbs but so far she hasn't impressed me.  Wonder if I can ask for a different person?
8. It IS expensive!

In conclusion, I still highly recommend WW but maybe I need to start emailing them and bugging them about weeks of meal plans and grocery lists for those weeks...
For me... I'm stuck for 6 months with JC... that's how long I signed on for.  I will await with abated breath for when they wean me back onto my own food.

P.S. I am glad to see a comment on here... I have not been able to comment on any ones page for some time... blogger is having issues.  Heather - I would have commented many times on yours but all I am able to do is read it - for awhile I wasn't even able to do that...

Blogger issues

I know some of you are reading this... I really like it when people comment too.. but blogger is having major issues - for a while now.  These issues are not allowing people to comment on blogs.  I know cause I have been trying to comment on a few! grrrrrrr!
I guess that is what you get for a free service.
hmmmm

Anyway, I am on day 4 of this JC program.  I have been following it as much as my busy-ness allows... which in most part is pretty close.  I have stepped on the scale but I am not going to tell you until my official WI on Wednesday... scales go up and down like a leaf in the wind... the dust will settle in 3 days :)

I haven't started my fitness armband yet... but I do wear my pedometer religiously and I went 14,689 steps yesterday.. not bad eh? lol

okay I am off to make my lunch and see if my dear hubby would like me to bring him and our son something as they are out in the fields making silage.

I have been asked...

I was asked by my friend Jodi and my neice Amanda to write 7 things about myself.... then pass the fun along.  Hmmm, not sure if you would really want to know me!

Well, here goes:

1. I have a wonderful husband of 23 years and 3 (gettin' old) children.  I dairy farm with my hubby and he is sweet enough to support my addiction.

2. My addiction - is any animal that I can pluck or shave to spin their fibre into yarn, dye it, knit it, weave it... or just sit and cuddle its softness (on or off the animal).  Hence why I have sheep, alpaca's and angora rabbits.. long haired cats, dogs...  I try anything.

3. I am obsessed with looking like a skinny bitch (I am far from it!) but at least I have a goal in life. lol

4. I have travelled some of the world... UK, France, Norway, Germany, Luxembourg, Mexico, USA, Canada...

5. I have lived in ON, NB, AB & BC... but toured ALL the provinces of Canada at one time or another.  If you haven't guessed by now I love to travel :)

6. I have fabulous farm gal friends that keep me on the straight and narrow... Love you all!!!!! thru thick and thin hehehe

7.  Last but not least... I tend to volunteer a lot and have a hard time saying "No"... hence why I am organizing a Fleece Sale for this weekend with vendors & demo sheep shearing... yay! and I am already thinking of a date for next year and how we can grow the sale!  Okay... this is part of my fibre addiction!

Now apparently I am supposed to send this to 15 more people... hmmm. I don't have 15 people to send this to so please enjoy it on here :)

I Finally Did It...

I made the call... to JC... simple really.. I went online and it said to press a button for an instant call back.  It was definitely a call back in an instant!  No sooner had I pressed, my phone rang.
I chatted with a lady for about 15-20  minutes - paid a fortune and now I wait for everything to arrive by UPS on Wednesday. 
The lady I spoke to was very easy to talk to.  I was VERY reserved cause I am very educated about the what and what nots... I also don't like "salesmen or woman".  She was very conscious of me being reserved but soon melted me and I loosened up a bit (when I say a bit - it was only a bit). 
I am still struggling with the fact that I should be able to do this with WW and not resort to JC but I did find huge similarities and I also like one perk they have... Its called the Metabolic Max... yes I joined the most expensive program they have... but on the other had you get big perks.  I figure I have spent a lot of money with WW and I would be spending more each week going but not moving my weight.
Back to the Metabolic Max.  This is an item you wear on your body and (in short) it records your calories in and out. You plug it into the computer and it keeps a diary for you - of course its only as good as you program it :) 
But I think this is something I need.  Exercise is one thing that is truly lacking in my "program".  I also think I need a 1:1 person to talk to.  I know there is a lot more to my weight issues than just portion sizes and what I put in my mouth.  There are a lot of deep issues that I push waaaaaay down and hope they will go away.  Ironically, they don't go away, they pop out in other ways... my weight, my emotions...
Yes, I hope I get a good consultant that fits "me".  I can see it becoming a counselling session each week over the phone but I think I am ready for it now.
I really want to know why I can't keep my weight off and I think this might be the answer.
You know I was only 10 lbs away from my goal weight in 2007 then....... shit happened and I let it get in the way of my success. 
I will admit I get comfortable then I let things slide... once they start to slide I start to gain... then I go into "I don't care" mode...(but I really do care) and I spiral into an upward slope of weight gain that I am no longer controlling.   THAT is what I have to STOP.   I have to become accountable for my sliding.
So with that said - my accountability has started... Wednesday I will open a treasure box... at the most busiest time of my week!
I have a sheep fleece sale coming up this weekend that I am getting ready for, setting up and organizing.. but hey - when is it EVER a good time to start?  Tomorrow never ever comes, so the best time is

NOW

I want to be...

.... a skinny bitch!
It has been awhile since I have posted.  Not that I haven't thought of posting as I am one of many words but I haven't had a whole lot of time on my hands lately.
No time but lots of frustration.  and YES I do want to be a skinny bitch.
I started, on Nov. 17th, a challenge with a friend... the first to lose 10 lbs... well our end date was May 28th - that's tomorrow to be exact... but my usual WI day was on Wednesday the 25th so we ended it then.  I checked my weight and I rolled across the scale at 179 lbs... hmmmm... I looked back in my records and LOW N BEHOLD on Nov 17th.... I was 179 lbs!!!!!!!!   HUH! well one thing is for certain.. I know how to maintain! 
It should have been doable... 10 lbs in nearly 6 months! SO doable! phffffft but I don't know WHAT happened - or better yet what DIDN"T happen!
so....
I have been thinking....
my biggest problem is
1. portion sizes
2. I hate cooking
3. I never have time to cook
4. I don't want to take time to cook
5. I want someone else to do the thinking for me
6....
I have decided I am going to join Jenny Craig.
Okay, okay, okay... I know... a WW Lifetimer saying she is going to join JC?  Almost the unthinkable!
but...
WW has let me down a bit over the last few years. 
I have asked and asked for menu plans - thinking already done for me - I can swap in and out any foods on their plan when I want but at least I have a base to go by...
but NOPE they are very stingy on that part.   Not only that when they do have a menu plan (for a week) they use foods I don't even know exists! Where the heck do you buy that?

So I am going to try it out. JC that is.  I am going to be anonymous - at home - and continue to WI at WW cause I AM a  lifetimer! 
I HAVE to get this weight off AGAIN. 
In 2007 I was 10 lbs away from my goal weight.  A lot has happened since then that has caused some pretty good emotional eating but now I want to try and get it under control. 
Here is to a skinny new me in 2011...
now to just make that Jenny call :)

Much better

I tried to post a couple of times from someone elses computer but blogger wouldn't let it post.. kept telling me there was an error.  Probably cause I was posting from Luxembourg.

I just got back from a 16 day trip to London UK, Germany, Luxembourg with some side visits to France & Belgium. The side visits were only a scenic drive.
BUT in my travels I did do a LOT of walking... I figure I averaged 15,000 - 20,000 steps per day.  I was very paranoid that I wouldn't fit into a formal gown I brought to wear to a wedding we were going to so I was VERY careful with my eating... and I drank LOTS of water... NO pop... no alcohol just plain water. Got a shock in Germany though. When you ask for water it comes carbinated.  So I asked for Still water - it still had some carbination... so I asked for tap water. I got funny looks but they served it. 

Alll in all it was a wonderful trip and 2 days after I got back it was WI day! 
I went to my meeting and stepped on the scale...
drum roll please!
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.......

I lost 3.7 lbs!

I was VERY happy!

Now to keep it going...

That just reminded me... I need to go grab my glass of water.
Cheers and have a great day!

Crashing

I am really at a crash and burn.  Last week I gained 3 lbs.  I was doing so well and the coin flipped and completely destroyed everything I had done and more.
WI is coming up again on Wednesday.  I really don't want to go - I have been fighting and fighting and fighting to get this weight off and I seem to only gain.
I wanted to have 20 lbs off before dh and I took a trip to Europe to a wedding ( it was totally doable under normal circumstances) - its going to be formal wear.  I am going to look like a big fat cow in a bunch of ruffles.
I hate the way I look - I really do - I don't feel beautiful anymore  - I definitely don't feel sexy.  Faaaaaaaaaaaaar from it.
I shouldn't have to absorb myself in a stringent way of eating and not get another thing done... it seems if I am not thinking about absolutely everything I eat, I gain.  a handful of chocolates in 7 days should not destroy the number on the scale!
I am at a severely low moment and its not going to get better cause there is no way I can lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks. I can't even lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks. 
I'm tired of this, I really am. 
I need to shop for a formal dress - I don't want to do it.  I would rather miss the wedding.
My hair is gross too.  I hate my short hair.  I want my long healthy hair back... but that is just a dream - I haven't had long healthy looking hair for 4 or more years.  my hair just won't grow.  Heck it took 35 years to get as long as it did.
My husband was right.  Don't throw the fat clothes away - I need them now.
I have a very beautiful formal gown but I am too fat to get into it.

Signed,
Smothered in tears

Wacky Weekend

Can you say WHAT?
I had one heck of a wacky weekend and my journalling went all to h#ll and gone yonder...
Now its time for damage control!
But FIRST

Get that pizza out of my house!
and the valentines chocolate! Yikes!
Oh and WHY did I have that ice cream cake at my mothers birthday (cause I bought it? *head hang low*  *sheepish grin*)
and I let myself get too hungry yesterday before we went to the party and it started late so I was STARVING... the first bowl of munchies that came out.. well  I MUNCHED.

Back at it.. I have time to save myself LOL

Giggles

I seem to be on a roll - so glad my head has gotten into the right place!  Of course it really helps when the scale is going in the right direction :)
I stepped on it again this morning and woohoo!
I got over my good one week, bad the next...
I have been tracking faithfully - even the handfuls of chocolate chipits and licks and nibbles.
and WATER - I have been drinking like a fish! 
hmm do fish drink water?

   **********************************************************************************************
The answer to this question differs, depending on whether you're talking about saltwater fish or freshwater fish.


Freshwater fish do not actively drink water, but absorb the water through their skin and gills. On the other hand, saltwater fish do actively drink sea water. Their gills process the water and take out the salt.

The salmon is an interesting example of a fish that lives in both fresh and salt water, and consequently, they have the characteristics of both types of fish. Salmon are born in fresh water, and migrate to the ocean. While living in the ocean, they drink saltwater by opening their mouth; their gills then rid their bodies of the salt and minerals. When the salmon enters freshwater streams to spawn, they stop drinking the water and instead absorb it through osmosis (osmosis means that the water passes through the cells of the fish's skin into its body).

                    ****************************************************************************
I don't know about you but I was really curious on that question.
Speaking of fish... did you notice the ones on my blog at the top of the page that follow your mouse?  I have them well trained :D

Okay, now that I have this out of my system ... its time to get back to work! hehe

Good Day

The sun is shining through my office window and I am soaking up the vitamin D.  Aaaaaahhhhh!

This cold/sore throat has yet to subside but I am happy to report I went to my WI this morning.  I don't want to infect anyone else with this nasty beast but I HAVE to go to WI.

I was very happy with my results!  I lost 1.8lbs... not bad considering I have been taking lozenges and other aids to rid my sore throat that who knows how much sugar is in them.

I am off to Coquitlam to a dr's appt... follow up from my thyroid biopsy.  It will take about 4 hours for the round trip. 1 hour to get there, hopefully no more than a 2 hour wait and about an hour to get back depending on traffic.  That is the wonderful thing about specialists... you run on thier time :)

Cherrio!

Heal Thy Self

I have had a cold now for 5 weeks. The symptoms have changed from a back ache, sore throat to a head cold, tired ...then appeared to be going away.  Suddenly 3 days ago I have an even worse sore throat (the razor blade kind) with difficulty swallowing and maybe a little tiredness but nothing much more... oh yeah and my mucus in my nose has turned from clear to a more light grassy color green. 
I thought - oh man, I hope I am not coming down with strep now that I have had this darn thing so long.
So against my better judgement I decide to go to the Dr's.. not my actually Dr's office but a drop in clinic where I figured I would at least get in on the same day.  You may notice Dr's are a little low on my trust & faith scale.

hmmm, so I head down to the clinic today for 9am.
@ 10:15am I am finally asked to come into a room to wait for a Dr.
@ 10:53am I hear someone say "I guess Marianne left?" another nurse says "no, she's here" Original nurse says "but she's not in the waiting room"  the other nurse states "no I already put her in room 4"  ----- now to give them the benefit of the doubt there are other Marianne's in this world so I got up and looked at my door number "Room 4"   okay forget the doubt, they are very unorganized.
@ 10:55am the Dr arrives
to start: the nurse had explained to him incorrectly what my symptoms were
After  making this correction he tells me "you and everyone else.  It is viral and you keep getting reinfected; nothing I can do for you"   He did however take a swab of my throat (where it didn't hurt) Just in case it was bacterial.... Then he told me I should expect it to last 5 - 10 weeks.
I asked him if I was getting reinfected why wasn't everyone in my house getting infected? Karl had it 4 days after me and it lasted him not even 2 weeks.  He had no answer.
so @ 10:57 I walked out the door.

I had waited 2 hours for a 2 minute appointment only to be told nothing could be done - just keep doing what I am doing.

What I am doing is using Strepsils or Cepacol lozenges that has an antibacterial in it and a numbing agent so I can swallow.   BUT WAIT he said it was VIRAL... those won't work cause they are tackling the BACTERIA!!!!

I should  have never gone to the Doctors... huge waste of my time.... when will I ever learn?

$28 for 2 minutes = $840/hour -  not bad for wages eh? and he didn't have to do anything.

Phew!

Almost thought I had blew it!  Last night I was really tired and my throat has been super sore; you know that razor like feeling, dry and super difficult to swallow?
I have been draggy and tired -  not feeling like doing much - so when it came to dinner time what did I do?  There was a $5 pizza in the freezer... you guessed it...I cooked it... and ate more than one piece :)
I was worried the salt content would really mess up the scale this morning but thankfully it didn't.
I guess its all the water I have been drowning myself in.  Either that or my body needed that salt and used it wisely.

I am headed off to the drop in clinic to hopefully get something to tackle this darn throat!  This is week 5 - I think its time to end it!

Still on track but...

I am still on track with my food and like what I see on the scale (its going in the right direction :)
BUT I haven't been able to completely shake this cold  that I have. I have been battling it for more than 4 weeks now   At times it feels like it is on its way out but then I get one late night to bed and its back.  The sore throat started up again last night and sure enough I have very little voice today...and so tired!  Everything takes major push for me to do.
I was going to go to a funeral today but I just don't have the energy to do that AND go to work.
I am supposed to work today 4-midnight - my 2nd to last shift.  I gave notice 2 weeks ago.   I am pretty sure I can make it through the shift so I am going to do it. 
I called work (confirmed that I wasn't calling in sick after they heard my voice!) and asked what was on the menu for dinner.  
Menu is: Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, mixed peas and carrots.
 I can see that I will be bringing my own food to eat tonight. 

Last night I went to an Alpaca Club AGM and I spent over a half hour at home trying to figure out what I could eat on the menu... Whitespot has good food but VERY high in points!
I just about ordered off the children's menu!  In the end I had the Asian Chicken salad (no onions, extra red peppers) for 7 points and I splurged on a cup of Red Clam chowder for 5 points... and drank a jug of water throughout the evening. 
Everything else on the menu was 12 points or higher... the Chicken Broccoli and cheese with rice and garden salad is 30 points!

I do have to be careful not to cross that line of frustration.  It is taking a lot of work to make sure I am eating small portion sizes, lower point foods and be satisfied/not hungry.   I am really not hungry when I am done eating - I  just like the taste of some foods and want more even though my body does not need it. 
 I keep telling myself to eat to live not live to eat.
It takes so much time to retrain the brain to the new program that it would be easy enough to call it quits -
BUT
There is always a BUT
I have many reasons why I won't

1. I need to get healthy
2. I need help to stay in control
3. I have a wedding to attend in April and i don't want to look like a New Years blimp in a formal dress
4. I have been challenged... and it could cost me $$$! so I have to win this. My challenger is very competitive and if I read her messages right, her head is truly in it.. with heavy support from an outsider (her daughter) so I HAVE to keep on trucking. LOL

Oh I have no intentions of slacking.  Not now that I have my healthy hat on... if only this darn cold would vacate so I can get more exercise in.  Don't want to stress my already stressed body.
They say not to exercise when you are sick.  Your body already has enough work to do trying to fight off the bug.   So my bike sits unused in my living room.   I may get on it for short intervals but I won't bust my butt on it quite yet.

Hmm what to say...

Three times I have written on here and 3 times I have deleted it.   I had several trains of thought but got interupted and lost them.
So now, I am not neccessarily wordless but subjectless.

I will however, make a confession.  I have been doing well with tracking etc. but the last 2 days my water consumption has decreased... gotta get that back up again.
Tonight hubby was sweet enough to take me to subway for dinner where I know I can stay OP but then he ordered 2 m&m cookies and didn't eat them.  I didn't need them, I wasn't hungry but they are SO good!  So I did - I ate it. Only one... but I know where he is keeping the other one *smirk*  I hope someone else gets to it before me.

About an hour after we got home I started craving cheez wiz!   Can you believe it?  I love it on Dempsters (white) toasted bread.mmmmm and for some reason I just HAD to have one.
Stupidly I made myself 2 when one would have sufficed.  But since  I have had it I no longer want it - it hit the spot.
Now to head to my tracker, write it down, smile, and go to bed without beating myself up over it.  It was a choice.  Maybe not the best one but I will count it.   This is about change and not depriving one self.   If I would have said no to myself I may have done something worse - like go for the chocolate chipit container and grab handfuls without measuring. 
Okay, gotta go count this up.

My New Chair

Yesterday I was in town and decided it was TIME.  Time to get active.  I bought a new bike 2 years ago and I have only ridden it about 4 times.  I paid a lot of money for it, don't want it stolen AND I didn't want to get it dirty!  Okay, really dumb excuse but *blush* its true!

I have been chatting with my son who is into working out - we don't always get to the gym as it takes a lot of time out of our day/evening.  So what better way than to bring the gym to us.
This is what I have done so far...
I have removed a chair out of the living room and bought a stationary stand for my bike that has tension.  I can ride to my hearts content while watching TV or a movie, not sure if I could attempt playstation 3! Or maybe try upper body workouts with the Wii!. 
My physio therapist told me I needed to strengthen my knee and cycling was the way to do it.

I tried it out last night and Karl walked into the room and turned into Jillian (trainer from biggest loser)  I told him to watch out or I will make him go on the bike! LOL

Jeff just made himself a pull up bar that he plans to set up in the basement - we also have a punching bag that needs to be set up.  I am looking for other tidbits to add to our home gym to work different muscles.

Now to just use it.

Reality Check

I decided to do a reality check... I started tracking yesterday.I had written everything down that I ate but hadn't figured out the points until now...


I figured them out on the new program

I am allowed 29 points in a day...

I USED 53!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if you have white Spot out your way but I had a really nice lunch out with my neice and her husband... I had red clam chowder (I knew it would be high) a cup for 5 points.. but it was worth it. What GOT me was the Turkey wrap no sauce! It was 15 points!

I had a 20 point lunch!

and to top it off... I had a 24 point supper! (got a little carried away with the yorkshire pudding I made.)

Okay I really have to rethink here! This could be my wake up call - and HELLO M! Maybe I should track more often and stop blaming other things for my weight gain!

WI Wednesday

I will fess up right away... I gained 1.2 lbs.   Ugh! here's to another week.  The crazy thing is I stepped on the scale this morning (Thursday) and I was down the 1.2 - my body likes to play tricks.

I am still trudging  stepping away virtually walking across Canada.   I am on my way to Sault St. Marie from Thunder Bay - boy is that a lot of steps!  531,250 to be exact!  I thought Ontario had more towns in between LOL
I have also started a new challenge - walking to Mexico... apparently it is half the distance than walking across Canada.
My steps south has taken me across the Border, thru Bellingham and I am on my way to Mt. Vernon.

I have been fighting a sore throat and cough the last couple of days.  I don't feel too bad but I am tired.  I haven't been getting proper sleep and that is taking me down.  My fault though as I haven't been going to bed very early.  It seems I get more done between 8pm and midnight than I do all day!

Well, I better get showered up and get ready for an all day meeting.  Sitting on my butt - story of my life LOL   Won't be getting many steps in today... will have to make a point of getting up and walking around.

Freedom

I awoke today feeling the best ever in 6 days.  A good friend offered a hot tub... boy that sounds awesome right about now!  Do you think my hubby would notice if I took a plane ride - sat in a hot tub and came home the same day?   I would only be gone about 8 - 12 hours...that's like going to a shift at work... naaaaaah, he wouldn't even notice... I could park my car at the airport... he wouldn't even have to give me a ride to and from.  LOL   only one problem... I think he would notice the charge on our Visa.  :-(   It would be difficult to justify the trip when I only live about 5 minutes from the local recreation center that has a hot tub...  Well it was worth the thought!  I can be a bit impromptu at times too so don't put it passed me doing it (jumping on the plane)! 

hmmm, maybe I should be wise and go to the local pool! I did buy some passes a long time ago.  Gotta get these muscles working!  I used to really enjoy water aerobics - I should check out the times - your allowed to drop in.  Its just the initial getting wet part I don't like but once I am in I am fine.

I am also thinking, I don't take anything and I mean nothing other than an Advil once in a while.  I have had a few people tell me I should take some vitamins - maybe its time - multivitamins can make me ill but I will try one thing at a time - just gradual, for example:  start with Vitamin D then a week later, Calcium, then a week after that add, Vitamin C, eventually start taking some iron.. I noticed on my last blood test my ferritin was low.  Ironically  one of the symptoms of  low ferritin is hair loss and fatigue - go figure eh? 

Whoa! I just looked at the clock... I had been cleaning out a filing cabinet and decided to take a break and come on here... well time has flown.  Sleep probably is a good thing for good health too! Actually I know it is, so I better go get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's!

Night all

Age?

I am really kind of at my whits end... I have always had difficulty with tight muscles, one of the reasons why I go to massage, sometimes physio and always reflexology.  But lately, over the past few weeks my muscle stiffness and pain has been getting worse, a lot worse.  I honestly can barely move.  Not only do I have muscle stiffness but my joints are so painful in my hands, knees and hips... and today elbows.  I can barely type.  Advil alleviates the pain a little - bit will give me nose bleeds.   This is so frustrating cause I have always been a very busy person - very active person... and I can't even lift a bale of hay to my fibre animals... I have to get my son to do it.
On top of all this, yesterday around noon my ears filled up.  I lost some of my hearing a couple of years ago from a virus and now I seem to have the same symptoms again and can hear even less.  I have tried to clear the buzzing or "drum like feeling" but to no avail. 

Go to the Dr you say... *sigh* I have not had any luck at the Dr's - EVER.  My GP has tried to pin depression on me, he refuses to look beyond that and I know for a fact I do not have it.  I have actually quit seeing him and seeing another Dr in the same office but I have lost faith in the medical system and getting very tired of explaining myself all the time.

I did have my biopsy yesterday.  All went well.  Now I just have to deal with bruising and soreness for  a few days.   

I feel like I am 90 instead of 40 something.  I should be having a lot of fun this time of my life but I can barely get out of bed I am in so much pain.   Well, on the upside I am glad its not a migraine.

Pleasant Surprise

It was WI today.  I lost 0.6 lbs.  I was surprised to say the least.  I don't feel like I have lost anything.   I feel puffy and bloated and yuk but I will take it! 

Tomorrow I go for a biopsy.  It is a loooooooooooong story so I won't bore you with details but the short of it is I have a large cyst on my right thyroid (left side has already been removed) and standard procedure is to get a biopsy.  Its not the most comfortable thing in the world but its fairly quick - at least the one I had on the left side was.  I am getting this one done at a different hospital by a different person so who knows...
They say the cyst is 3 times larger than the one that they found on my left side before removing the lobe.  I guess that is why I snore and my throat "clicks" when I swallow LOL  the downside is it can sometimes make me choke on something.  Doesn't stop me from eating though!
I am not worried and you shouldn't either. 
my left lobe was not cancerous and even if it was thyroid cancer is the least deadliest cancer anyone can get.  It has a 99% success rate.   My SIL had pancreatic cancer which was completely opposite.. it has a 1% success rate.  Needless to say she is no longer with us.

Not sure what my specialist has in store for me and I won't find out until February.  He has gone overseas to do free surgeries with Dr's beyond borders.

What would you do?

have a question for all you people working away at weight loss, healthy eating and moving more.



A little history first...

My mom has recently moved in with my brother and his wife and his MIL. My mom a couple of years ago was very very sick and no Dr seemed to be able to help her so she went to a naturepathic physician. This NP did wonders with my moms health - BUT a lot of it had to do with food allergies.  She was put on a strict diet which has now become more lenient as she can tolerate a lot more foods again.

Now, my brothers wife and MIL like to cook full fat everything (they put whip cream in their coffee, use a whole large full fat sour cream at one meal, always have hi fat/sugar desserts on hand) - they are German and can they cook mmmm! But the fat/calories can be out of this world. They also do the grocery shopping. My mom does request her things and they may get it but my brother is baulking at it HUGE.

He says there is cheaper alternatives...and he asks... who says you have to be a certain weight - who says you have to eat that or can't eat that? If it was an allergy then if you ate it we would be taking you to the hospital cause it would kill you. (My mom gets respiratory distress but not to emergency levels). He's even complained that her "food" is filling up the fridge and has to go. Her "food" usually is low fat/sugar or natural products that need refrigerating.

I don't know what to tell him and I don't know what to tell her.

I did tell her to not put her things on the communal grocery list - just buy it herself - as for the space in the fridge? I just thought of telling her to get her own mini fridge for her area of the house (she has a private bed/bath & sitting room) BUT then he may complain about the electricity! yikes... he says that his electricity bill has doubled since she moved in but I reminded him of the many things have happened since she moved which would cause a higher bill such as: fans and heaters put in his boat for days after it was brought in under cover and needed to be dried out... his basement flooded and fans and heaters were needed to dry that out along with sucking up all the water with a wet vac (got 40 canisters!).... The weather dropped to below -12 for a week...

My mother is 72 years old, nearly 73. She needs to be warm - my bro will go to work during the day and has the heat programmed in the house to drop to 15 degrees... that is too cold for Mom and his MIL too!  They were wearing coats, wool socks and slippers to stay warm!  My brother is burnt out and frustrated (at many things) but not necessarily ready to listen about this... he thinks its nonsense.  Especially when one day  Mom will be regiment about her "diet" and other days not so much so he says its hard to take her seriously.   I think he has been getting pressure from others in the house...its work and a big change... they are tired when they get home.  He just wants everyone to eat the same thing and be happy about it.  Also, I do not believe they know a whole lot about nutrition.
One of my bro's comments were  - who made up all these rules anyway?  I said the Canadian food and exercise guide... he said yeah but WHO?  Some whipper snapper fresh out of University?  I then told him he was being ridiculous...
 
On one hand I am sure my mom could look at other options. My bro was saying he could get a loaf of bread that is the same calories/fat/fibre etc as another type my mom likes and it  costs less and everyone will eat it.  But my mom comes back with "but I get 2 slices of mine and only one slice from the loaf you want."   His comment to that was cut "my" bread in half and you will  have 2.   He has a point! but then again so does she.
*sigh*
 
 I am the middle person. I see both sides for the most part... This shouldn't be a problem... but its becoming a mountain.

Armed and dangerous

Water bottle (check)
water IN water bottle (check)
grocery list (check)
filling foods on grocery list (check)
tracker (check)
breakfast written IN tracker (check)

I was up again - not much but up - 0.4... its creeping and right back where I started 4 years ago. - actually that's not totally true - I am 5 lbs less than when I started 4 years ago.  BUT if I keep going in the direction I am it won't be a pretty sight.

I need to get this show on the road and time to completely focus on this.  Knitting aside, its meal planning time.  I have started to read thru the new WW program literature (no I hadn't done that yet and I have had it for several weeks)  
I have my step challenge out and organized - noticed on average my daily steps are around 4500/day and they should be at least 10,000. 
I am doing 2 step challenges now.  I am completing the one across Canada and the new one started January 1st, 2011 is to walk to Mexico.  Apparently its half the distance - more stops - and a whole lot warmer! LOL
I am liking the new WW pedometer.  I went thru 4 of the old ones and a couple of freebies.  This one seems more secure, doesn't fall off nearly as much and appears to be more sensitive to my steps.  I swear the other one didn't count them all.  I have some proof as I was part of a walking group last year and at the end of our walk we would look at our pedometers and mine always showed less steps and yet we all walked the same distance.  (whoa! run on sentence!)

Well, I am going to get off my duff - go feed my animals - then come back and do an hour of paperwork - then go for a walk - then paperwork - then walk... you get the drift - gotta move more!

Informed - Formal

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I have just been informed that the attire for the wedding we are to attend on April 2, 2011 - in Luxembourg... is FORMAL. 
The reception is taking place at Chateau de Preisch (France) or in English "Castle of Preisch".
You can see the place for yourself by clicking this link

Chateau of Preisch 

OH MY - I do have a beautiful formal dress... but I can not fit into it.  I would have to be 30 or more pounds lighter.   There is no way I can lose 30 or more lbs in 3 months even if I was majorly strict with myself!
I don't like buying new clothes at my weight either - OH what to do!

Well, if this isn't incentive I don't know what is...

First Day of the next 12 months

Welllllllllllllllllllllllll, I can't say that I have been on track today. 
I have been so tired and it took every ounce of energy in my body to go outside and feed my animals.  I had a lazy day today although I did work several hours on a Newsletter that I was supposed to have had emailed out yesterday. 
I just finished it a half hour ago and hit the send button.  Then decided to come on here.

I did track for 2 days in a row - but not today.  Tomorrow is another day... the tracker is sitting on my kitchen table glaring at me.  Reminding me. 

hahaha the chocolates are nearly all gone in the house - I have figured out that a toblerone chunk is 4 points - the icy chocolate squares are 2 points - m&m's for 1/4 cup is 5 points - and Ferrero Rocher! AH! my favorite! for 3 of them it is 6 points.
I think I am going to have withdrawals when I finally tell myself no more or better yet there is no more in the house.  You see I won't buy them but if someone else does I will eat them.

This could be TMI... but I had spoken about my hubby not being very supportive.  He tries in his own way and for the most part he does mean well... like when he sees me eat a chocolate and tells me that he will have to work it off me later.  hehehe.   Again not exactly the support I want but it comes from his man heart. LOL

Well, I guess the first step to healthy eating is getting some groceries in this house. 
WW used to have menu plans (bare with me here.. I haven't actually read much of the literature to the new plan so... if they have menu plans now...I am unaware).
 I used to live off the menu plans.  I could swap in and out the foods I liked or what I had on hand.  The planning was all done for me and I could easily go shopping - little time spent.  I have spent hours talking about and actually starting some menu plans but never complete it and don't follow through.  Not a good thing for success.

I had some comments on my last post (end of 2010) - thank you for your support! Please by all means comment.  This is what I mean by the "friends" support.   I also have a wonderful, fabulous WW meeting leader and the people that go to the meeting are great too.  That is my "me" time.  I refuse to miss it.

I sometimes wonder who reads this blog...I have so few "followers".  If what I say or do helps anyone else I am thankful.  I would rather be an inspiration than someone who drags others down.  But in saying that, I too have my down days.  Sometimes far too many that I care to admit.  That was negative again.. gotta quit that.

Well, I do have a goal - I want to have lost weight by March 20th.  We have a wedding to attend.  I don't want to give some unrealistic number but as long as the scale is going in the down direction and I feel good that is all I will ask of myself.

I have surely rambled on in this post but sometimes I have to do that to get everything straight in my head.

To a clean slate with no mistakes in it....