Last day of the year...

Its the last day of the year - or almost. 

Has anything changed with me? No, but I believe I have maintained my weight from January to December...  counting the ups and downs over the months I am right where I started.

Is this year going to be any different? I certainly hope so! But I said that last year...

Who is it up to? Me... always me...

Who's fault is it that I am not losing weight and keeping it off?  Me...

Do I get support? Not at home... but I do from friends.

I have a hubby that just doesn't understand why it  is so hard for me to lose weight and keep it off. He doesn't understand temptations... I don't understand temptations!  He doesn't understand when I am feeling really fat and cry - I go for chocolate, chips or the like - he then voices his opinion - not one I am looking for and it makes me feel even worse.

 I don't want to make him look bad cause I love him dearly but he just doesn't have any empathy in this matter.
I have a husband that weight loss comes very easy.  Oh, he gains and gets a little chunky lookin'.  But then he sets his mind to "taking off a few pounds" and its gone - off - caputz - and stays off.  How does he do it?  He cuts out desserts and decreases his serving sizes.  In his words "he doesn't eat so damn much".
The fat jokes.. I am so tired of the fat jokes!  He says they are not geared towards me - he tells me I am beautiful -  but I take the jokes very personally.  How can I believe that he thinks I am beautiful when I don't believe it myself?

I was with my Mom one day (a few weeks ago)and we were with a very large group of people... she pointed out a woman in the group and said "Marianne she reminds me so much of you! You look so much like her!"  I looked around to see who she was talking about and nearly gasped... that woman looked far from what I wanted to look like.  Not to slam the poor unbeknownst lady but her looks were not what I imagined myself to be.   I did say "Really? thanks" but a tad sarcastically - I don't think my mom caught the tone.  Truthfully, I looked at the lady for some time (glancing so as not to stare) and I could see where my Mom was coming from but my brain was screaming "NOOOOO". 

My FIL said today that if he had to stay in the house all the time he would gain 50lbs in a big hurry - food is just too accessible and he would munch all day...  He also said when he is outside working he isn't around food and if he gets a bit hungry or thirsty he grabs water from the barn - or a veggie out of the garden (in summer).  Instead of a cookie or candy that is laying around.  Now HE understands!   When my hubby heard this he just shrugged - no comment.

I have glamor photo's of myself when I was 20 something and I had a one year old baby.  I was pretty, beautiful and just the right weight.  I know I won't look that "young" again and its not age that is distressing me - its the matronly look I have issues with (on me).   I see beauty in everyone else no matter their weight - I see their accomplishments, caring, giving personalities.  But for me I only see my weight, my grumpiness, laziness, disappointment, negativity. 
At my last WW meeting they asked "What is your New Years Resolution"  I piped up with "Being more positive" 
Well, I am not off to a very good start - thank goodness there is still one more day left to this year where I can try and change my thinking for the New Year.

Whoa I kind of got carried away here with some deep feelings.  Sorry about the rant but I have been carrying this around for quite some time.

On the Road again

I guess I could put this title up nearly every day of the week.
After having a great weight loss one week I have slowly creaped up and destroyed my hard work.
So, I am on the band wagon again - have brought home my meetings tracker and plan to get organized and DO THIS!

I don't want my new book from WW to be showing my weight going up and up I want it to be filled with happy #'s of going down.

I want to eliminate the "what the heck", "oh well's", "whatever"... and get down to business!

I don't believe in New Year Resolutions... I believe in the now, today, this second.  So here I go..

Confession

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Okay, I will tell. *sigh*
I had a horrible week.  Nobodies fault but mine.
I don't know why I do this.. one good week then one bad, one good, one bad...
I sabotage myself.
My day today didn't start out well.  I slept in... yes, slept in.  I only sleep in on purpose but last night I didn't sleep well which usually doesn't stop me from getting up but I turned off my alarm and flicked on my radio... which is my normal routine.  I listened to the traffic report and the weather (at 6:30am).  The next thing I knew I heard my dh start his truck and head for the barn.  I looked up and it was 8:30am!  That means my son had got up and left for school and dh had come in from milking and had his breakfast and morning 30 minute nap and left to the barn to feed the cows.  Oh boy... had to be at WI for 9am.   I flew out of bed, got dressed, fed the cats, grabbed my keys, leaped into the car and started to drive down the driveway - I rounded the corner by the house to head for the road and WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAA
I slammed on the breaks!
There standing a few yards in front of me were my sheep and alpaca's!  What were THEY doing out?!
I slammed my car into reverse, got it turned around and headed to the barn in search of Karl (dh).   On the way I met up with the AI technician who had just bred one of our cows.  I told him the situation and to NOT go out the driveway until  I get Karl.  He nodded "yes" but he left anyway!  I searched for Karl in every place I could think of... by the time I found him I was panicked.  I had to get to WI!   The last time my sheep & alpaca's got out it took an hour and a half to get them back in!
He came running from an area in the barn "What's wrong?"  I burst into tears and spilled the story.   He jumped in the car with me (after a hug) and we headed to the house to get a grain bucket and the quad.
The sheep had come back up to the yard by the house but had no intention of going back thru the gate to the shed.
After yelling at the dogs to sit and stop chasing them out of the area we wanted them... I ran and opened the gate in the field that leads to their pasture - I dumped grain on the ground just inside the gate and stood back and waited... Karl was behind them sending them up the fence line.  They could either bolt back out into the field or cut in to the wide open gate.   They came closer & closer - I watched carefully and stood out into the field a little more - if I gave too much space they would not see the opening in the fence but would see the opening between me and the fence and bolt past me.  So I teetered with my arms wide shaking the grain bucket.  Zack, my alpaca was first up and he took a look at me and swayed towards the field - I leaned his way and suddenly the sheep made a mad dash!  Thru the gate!  wooo hoo!  Once one goes in they all follow - gotta love the herd instinct.
I closed off the gate by the area that had the broken fence so they couldn't get out again - will fix that tomorrow.
I looked at my watch - it felt like an eternity but it only took 20 minutes! I still had time to get to WI.
Off I went... only to step on the scale and find I had gained 2.2 pounds.  I could have cried... no, I did cry. 
Glad I had my reflexology appt right after.  That so helped me... don't know why I am so emotional right now.
Gotta get my tracker on track and get rid of the damage I caused.

Do a little DANCE, Do a little JIG

WOOOHOOO I am on a roll!
Drum roll please......dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd...
I went to my official WI at my weight watchers meeting this morning and I am down.
...
  ...
   ...
    . ..
     ... wait for it!...
                              ...
                                ...
                                   ...
                                     ...
                                       ... 3 pounds!

Oh yeeeeah, oh yeeeeah!

Okay! on to another week... right after I put another $5 bill in my jar (right Heather D?)*grin*

Determined

I have become VERY determined... I seem to have my head in the game again.  Oh, not that I haven't been tempted... but I am able to give myself some self positive talk and move on.
Of course putting $5 in a jar every week helps.. and that I have the WW meetings community food tracking Journal...
On Wednesday I am going to be asked how'd it go and what did i learn...
Well, to be honest I haven't learned anything that I didn't already know...other than validating that I know tracking my food really works and keeps me in control! 
I found it interesting looking over the other members "week" in the journal and see what they ate and struggled with.   Their weeks look like mine... although one gal likes her beer. 
I don't drink alcohol so that is one area where I am safe from high point temptation. 

Two more days til I get to officially see the weeks hard work on the scale.  I have stepped on mine a couple of times and know I am headed in the right direction.

I have been challenged by a very competitive challenger so I HAVE to keep on my toes!  I even have my hubby cheering me on... now if I could only keep HIM out of the ice cream! and no, having blueberries or strawberries on top does NOT make it any less fattening!

Tools

I am back battling the bulge! I have my main tools ready to go!

• tracker (check)
• Pen (check)
• points calculator (check)
• water bottle (check)
• challenge jar with $5 (hehehe - check)

Now I am headed to the fridge to clean it out and make a grocery list.

Dinner tonight is
BBQ salmon
brown rice
cauliflower
cucumbers
dill carrots

mmmmmmmmm

Got it

I have that 3 month tracking journal in my hands.  The one that I was talking about in the previous post that is a Challenge thru my ww weekly meetings.
I have been on dangerous ground with my weight continually moving up and me getting more and more down over it.  I have decided its time to take the bull by the horns, whip myself into shape and get back on the wagon and stop waiting for the miracle that is never going to happen until I make it happen.
So far so good - i have had the tracker for 5 hours now and have tracked everything... I even stopped at a store and walked PAST the chocolate bar shelf that screams out "have a kitkat! or an oreo! maybe a Mr. Big! try a nut bar! maybe a ...  NNNNNNOOOOOOOO I had to scoot out the store real fast cause it was nearly a brainless automatic response to reach for one.  Thankfully I had purchased my item at the pharmacy where there were no bars talking to me!
Note to self: continue to stick strictly to the list in hand

I have a deadline... or better yet... a goal.
We have been invited to Luxembourg to a wedding April 2nd, 2011.  That gives me approximately 16 weeks to lose at least 20lbs...

I think that is doable.

 I won't stress over it but I need a goal.  I refuse to go to Europe FAT!  that will put me at the same weight I was when we went to NZ in 2007. Such a shame! I could  have been down to goal weight ages ago but I let things get in the way. 
I always find an excuse.  Here's to moving forward - let by gones be by gones and take it off!
Who knows, maybe I will do better than 20 lbs... but if not... so be it.
I am on my way once again...

Gotta get serious

Yep that is what I keep telling myself.  I HAVE to get serious.
At my WW meetings - yes still going even tho I haven't been diligent - they have started up a new challenge for tracking.   The leader has a 3 month journal and a member (volunteer) takes it home for one week and tracks.  Then you report your findings the next week.  It is supposed to jump start you again and help you get back into tracking again.
I think I need to be the volunteer for next week!
Not much more to report...

Not Sure

Today I did WI and I gained more than 2 lbs.  I know why I gained cause I haven't been paying any attention to my eating other than eating what I want to with a bit of "attitude" of "I dare you to say anything." 
I am in the head space that this is a lot of work... I am tired of work... I am tired period.  That is probably why I am so grouchy on here lately.
I have been successful in other areas of my life - been cleaning out rooms - feels good to declutter!  but why can't I declutter my body. 
I am back battling dr's again. Isn't that an awful thing to say?  "Battle a dr"?    I took a reprieve cause I was too tired of explaining myself over and over and dr's not listening.

Long story... if you care to read...
My GP moved offices and I didn't go with him as I found he was too comfortable with me.  Meaning, he felt he knew what I was going to say before I said it and had already made up his mind what he was going to do about "it" before I said it.    In other simpler terms... he no longer listened to my concerns.
So... with him leaving the office I had to decide who I was now going to see.  So I chose a GP that actually is a friend of our family.  Well, he is a he.  I didn't really feel comfortable seeing him for paps or even other personal things cause I don't like having coffee with someone who knows SO much about me!   I trusted him fully that he wouldn't say anything to anyone about my medical issues (his wife is also a dr in the same office and he never said boo to her about ANYTHING - and I mean anything... he even left it up to me to tell her that my SIL passed away in 2008).  So trust is/was not an issue. 
BUT
I have been 3 years trying to get to the bottom of a pain under my ribs, thyroid issues and other things that he seems to ignore.  He has tried to pin depression, PTSS (post traumatic stress syndrome) and other such things to explain my symptoms.   I disagree, not to all of it but to how he is explaining it.  Depression is a symptom of a problematic thyroid.  Yes I have PTSS because of many things that have happened in my life - believe me I could write a big fat book!  
Anyway, my uncomfortableness has escalated... I was seeing another dr in the office for my personal things (pap) and she has recently left the practice.... but another gal has taken her place.  They don't like it when patients jump from dr to dr but since I had seen this other gal I tried to see the new one that took over her clientele.   I got in and so far I got some more scheduled tests to look into things that have been stagnant.

You see I landed in the hospital a couple of months ago with heart attach symptoms... they sent me to a neurologist who sent me for a CT scan looking for clots and improper blood flow.  It all came back normal... but what didn't was my thyroid.  I have already had my left lobe out a few years back and now the right lobe is covered in nodules... so he highly suggested I get it looked into further (with my existing GP - he didn't follow up with me as he didn't feel it to be necessary)

Furthermore, previously I had gone to a guy that specializes in gall bladders due to the pain under my ribs (on the right side).  He found my gallbladder functioning properly but during one of the CT scans they found something on/in my lungs that they felt should be looked into further.  (My existing GP did not follow up on this as he didn't feel it was necessary) 

Even further into investigation I have had several Fasting blood sugars done.  Well, I just recently found out that the test results say that my blood sugar has been high and they consider me border line diabetic.  (BUT my existing GP did not call me or follow up on these tests He did not feel there was an issue.)

SO, with all that said and done... I took a breather from dr's for a month.  I had to gather my energy, do more research and wait for the new GP to come full time at the office.  
I called, made an appt with Dr M and was able to get in to see her same day and because I was considered a "patient" of the dr that left I was able to see her for a "regular" appt. - even tho my "regular"  GP, Dr V was in the office at the time)

I wanted to approach her with my issues in a nice calm way... explaining I am still needing to get answers and do follow-ups to my specialist appts.   She was quite shocked that nothing had been done yet and she was also the one who pointed out from my recent blood tests that my fasting blood sugar was high. 
With all said and done... I now have an appt with my endocrinologist, a scheduled ultra sound for my thyroid, a CT scan for  my chest (all in November) and I did another line of blood work.
Not sure what all is happening from here but I will plug along and see what my endocrinologist has to say.   All my tests are scheduled for AFTER my appt with him... but we will see.

Meanwhile, my weight loss is not going anywhere.  I really need to get on track and meal plan - I have a lazy streak and it is showing badly in the cooking and grocery department

Thinking of closing...

I have been thinking about closing this blog.  Having more than one blog can keep one far too busy and I was mostly using this one to whine.  
Weight loss is a life long road and when u are a yo-yo weight loss person like I am the blogs get to be the same old, same old.  Did good today - bad tomorrow - good this week, awful the next.   Very boring.

This does not mean I am going to stop working on staying healthy but my passion for writing here  started out to encourage others to keep going - well, I have a feeling no one reads this blog anyway so I am throwing words out into cyber space that doesn't need to be cluttering up the cyber world. 

So this will possibly be my last post here... 

I'm Back!

Yep, I have motivation and I am back tracking and getting lots of water in.
You would think with my getting on and off the wagon so much it would count for activity points and my weight would have gone down! LOL
I have decided I am tired of seeing my weight go on the rise again wiping away all my hard work over the past few years...
Its work, I have/had to face that.  It is not going to come off magically.  I am very educated on what is right and wrong with eating and nutrition... and it is absolutely amazing how tracking all my food actually causes me to lose weight!  It works!

So where did my motivation come from?  Well, part of it came from a little blood test that my husband got done... his colesterol is too high.   I feel that I am to blame for that cause I have either not been cooking (eating out a lot) or when I do cook it hasn't been all that super healthy all the time.  A little bit is okay but a lot is NOT! 
Another motivater is my Mom is around the same weight as me now.  She has lost 35 lbs and I should be totally at goal but no... I fussed and frolicked and gained and now we approximately the same.  So I have to kick it in gear before I have a skinny mom and I am left in the dust!
A third motivater is a friend... whom also needs motivation.  Together we are motivating each other and keeping each accountable.  When you are forced to think about it and fess up one tends to do a little better.  :)
4th.. I have attended WW meetings whether I have gained or lost weight.  I have gotten to know many regulars at "my" meeting and they know when things aren't good or I have gone sideways.  They are always trying to cheer me up.. or kick  me in the butt!  We "kick" each other. LOL    A bonus is I have found a good meeting with good people and a good leader.   Thats gotta motivate someone!

So here I am again. I have been tracking for nearly one week and my home scale is showing promising numbers.   I have to admit being at work has been a challenge ( I cook, serve and eat at work).  The menu can have high carb, high fat items... I have been trying to call ahead and find out what I will be making and either bring something from home to substitute or try to scale it down when making it or take much smaller portions... there are many things I can do - sometimes I just save some extra points for the occasion.

Here's to another boost - weight 175 ... goal 145.   Preferably by February 27th, 2011  doable?

Breaking silence

I guess its about time I got on here again.  Been neglecting my "duties" :) 

Anyone hear about the WW/running room 5 km challenge on getting active?  Well, I participated in that then went to Ontario for 2.5 weeks.  WW was giving out 5 Km charms and I was worried I wouldn't get one cause i was going to miss the meeting - well as it went - my leader knew I had participated and she saved one for me. yay!  So I now have my "lucky" charm

It has now been added to my worn WW key chain (its a before pic) - the star stands for 10% of my weight lost - key stands for lifetime and the hand stands for 16 weeks sluggin' it thru - LOL  I have been with them way longer than 16 weeks - I have been Lifetime since 1997

I haven't been making WL a goal this summer - but I have been making good choices being a goal.  I did gain weight on my trip but since I have got back I have lost 4.6 lbs.   I am very close to being in the 160's AGAIN.   

Since this blog is also about my health I will share some struggles that I have been going thru.
Last tuesday, July 19, in the middle of the night I had what is considered stroke like symptoms they lasted at least 2 hours long and when I woke in the morning (after a terrible night sleep) and morning meant 5 am  I still felt crappy but got up and got to it anyway.  You see I had a tour coming to the dairy and I had to finish getting ready.    I had heart flutters throughout the tour but later put it all down to not enough sleep and worrying about my hubby and son who was about to venture out overnight on a hiking trip up a local mountain.
One problem, not all my symptoms went away even after they came back from the hike.   My heart kept doing flips and I would get the shakes, feel faint, numb face, aching arm and then my blood pressure would start to rise.  Now I am one that always has low BP.  it is usually around 90/40 or 100/60.   Over the past week it has been 135/93. 
I ended up at emergency on monday night ( a week after the original symptoms appeared) - I decided I had better get checked out.  From emergency I got referred to a heart/stroke specialist.
Today, thursday,  I went to that appt. I saw a resident dr and breifly saw the specialist.  Long and short of it all they think that my "episode(s)" are caused from my migraines.  (I am hugely doubting this)  so I said if its from my migraines then what is causing them... answer: hormones... I said then how do I balance my hormones so that I don't get these symptoms... he couldn't answer that.. oh wait - he did answer that - he said go thru menopause and most women no longer get migraines after that.
After some deliberation between resident dr and specialist... they decided to put my mind at rest and do a list of blood tests, a CT scan of my head to upper chest, and a 24 hour heart monitor.   I know 3 of the blood tests they did 1. colesterol 2. blood sugar 3. Lupus but the others listed I have no idea what they stood for.  As for the CT scan I tried to get them to order a scan from head to abdomin but they wouldn't - they didn't feel that the pain I was having under my ribs to my back over the last 3 years had any connection to what I came to see them for.  I was told to go to my GP and discuss that with him.
Oh and my Blood pressure? After my 1 1/2 hour discussion I hopped up on the "bed" and the dr took my BP... it was 100/60.   He joked and said he has a calming affect on patients.
Karl didn't help one bit- his only comment throughout the whole meeting was that I had horrible PMS lasting 1-2 weeks thru a month and that he could easily raise my BP by mentioning it.
Even the dr told him he was walking on dangerous ground :-P
Has anything been resolved?  Won't know until my test results come back... then it will be time to regroup and figure out where I go from there.

Been awhile!

As you have probably noticed I haven't exactly had weight loss on my mind full time.  Well, actually, I will put it another way.  I have had WL on my mind all the time but haven't been listening to my mind.
I took a 2.5 week trip to Ontario and gained about 5 lbs.  Upon my return I seem to have lost some of that weight which I am thankful for.  
Tomorrow will be the real kicker and find out where I am at officially and get back on track again.  
I am trying to get to a place where I don't have to obscess over losing but can live comfortably and eat healthy and stay at a healthy weight.
Slowly but surely - that lifetime thing.. :-)

Short Lived

Well, I did my WI this week and I gained 2.4 lbs... go figure.
Not much to say... no tracking and probably not enough water... no not probably - just not enough water.
*sigh* 
As my teenage kids would say...Whatever...

Reversing the damage

Today was somewhat of a happy day.  I went to WI and knew I was down... I was hoping that I had corrected the damage from last week.... and hoping that I had done even better for lost time.    Well, I am happy to say I have lost 4.4 lbs. (I had gained 4 last week)
Now to keep it up for next week! I have come to the conclusion I have no idea what is the "key" to my successes but only to keep doing everything "right" that I can think of.  Keep up my water - stay away from dairy (icecream is a nasty!... cheese isn't much better but I love them both)
I am trying to focus on eating a larger breakfast, medium lunch and a light supper.   Key word "trying".  :)
The least I can do is maintain...

Kaboom!

Well, I sure had a shock yesterday.  I didn't doubt that I was going to gain weight as my week went from bad to worse but what I didn't expect is a 4 lb gain!
Yes, 4 lbs.  It doesn't get any better for me by retyping the # over and over either.  I tried to shrug it off but it hasn't worked. 
Then you know what?  The absolutely most frustrating part of it all? When I got up this morning I weighed myself and I was down, YES, down! 3 lbs.  Go figure.
To top my day off yesterday I had a migraine come crashing in on me.  I still have remnants of it today so trying to do everything possible to keep it at bay.

My poor mom got to hear me rant for over a half hour this morning about everything and I mean EVERYTHING that bugged me - laughter, anger, tears... *sigh*
I wasn't very receptive to her trying to be helpfuls  "why don't you..." & "I'll go with you"... she finally said "well dear your not going to get anything accomplished with that kind of attitude - you need a cup of tea & relax for 10 minutes then go at things with a fresh clean mind."  She closed with "I will call you later to see how your doing"      
What would I ever do without my mom... maybe not have the guilt of always dumping on her! 

I desperately need a massage... my neck and back are killing me along with my head... I hope my massage therapists calls me back soon as I know I am not going to make it to my tuesday appt - need one sooner.

Day 7 and a new week

I missed posting a few days here but none the less I still worked on tracking and eating right.
Today is my official WI at my WW meeting so will see what comes of it. 
Not a whole lot to report other than I have been very busy and hence, no postings for the last few days.
I have been keeping up with recording my steps - made it to Medicine Hat now and about a quarter of the way to Swift Current!  A lot of steps are needed to get to either of these places!  You'd think there might be a small town in between :o)
Well, its off to my meeting - will update you upon return.

Okay - I am back from WI -  I lost this week - hoping to keep up the momentum!  I lost 1.4lbs.. I thought I had lost a bit more but whatever - I will take it.
Here's to another week of tracking and keeping up my water :)

Day 3 hmmm

I have made it thru day 3 but I am not going to lie.. I did kind of... well... probably... for sure... had some chocolate chip cookies.  Not that I couldn't have them but I have been trying to avoid them.  I knew I was going to have trouble as soon as I started to make them - about 15 dozen to be exact.  I chewed gum, had a healthy snack, washed my hands several times during the process to make sure I didn't lick my fingers... but in the end I had one when hubby came in from the barn then another for dessert - then another a couple of minutes ago. 

NO MORE.
Its out, I have been honest, I am going to track them and move on.  I have drank my water, ate healthy otherwise.  So no guilt here.
Most of the cookies will be gone tomorrow as I have baked them for a tour coming to our farm.  Then I will forget about them all together. 
Perfect, good, now on to Day 4

Day 2 and counting

I have made it thru day 2 without binging and I have had no chocolate - I was tempted to binge but have had no cravings for chocolate... my weapon?  Sugarless gum.  I think I need to go buy it in bulk! lol   I don't like to chew it cause of the aspartame but I have to do something! it seems to be helping.
When I had the feeling to eat outside of my plan... I either chewed gum or went outside and worked in the yard.  I am getting a lot of yard work done! LOL
Tonight my dd has gone out and she said she would bring back dessert.  I hesitated... then said "none for me".   It was hard! but I HAVE to stay on track - its ONLY day 2 of being very firm with myself.

I was quite happy this morning... I stepped on the scale and had lost the 2 lbs I had gained... oh to keep this going!
I would like to thank my friends for their kind words of wisdom and support helping me find my way back on the right trail again. 

Day 1

It is my stress time... 3pm... I say stress cause this is when I normally start searching for food - eat far too much (not always unhealthy) and regret it later.  I tend to set aside the little voice saying "don't do it!"  I easily ignore.
Not today - so far... It is now nearly 4pm and I had my planned snack (2 points) and now I am grabbing my water bottle and getting as far away from food as possible.  DS wants a hair cut and pick up a couple of things in town... so off we go.  No sitting around thinking of food just sipping away at my water bottle (and looking for a public washroom!)
so far so good....
It is now 6pm... I have not munched on anything yet.. oh I have thought of it!  I popped a peice of sugarless gum in my mouth instead.   Supper (broiled chicken) has started to cook in the oven -now to start chopping veggies...
 I think I just might make it today!

I promise I won't cry

I am up AGAIN!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!  2.0 lbs to be exact.  I just can't seem to get my head in the game.  I have to work so hard for what I do lose and I am losing this battle.  I am so frustrated - okay, I promised I wouldn't cry but I am.
For some reason I can't stay out of the chocolate chipits... and at around 3pm every day I get these "hunger" craves and I binge.   I was so in control today until 4pm when I came in the house.  Why can't I say no?  Why do I let myself do what I do and then feel incredibly horrible after - physically and mentally?  
I need to meal plan - would it help? I think so... I need to organize myself so that I don't have to "make" dinner.   Or at least know what I am going to have.  When its time to cook dinner I all of a sudden feel VERY tired and don't want to do anything.  I have to figure some way to get over this stupid hump.
I HAVE to get serious and stop allowing myself to not succeed!   I am so frustrated and yet I am still working against myself. 
I HAVE to stop! 
I have gained many lbs that I have worked so hard to get off - why have I done this to myself? I should be at goal - I HAVE To get to goal!
I am now going to go drown myself in water (go drink some water to flush the system) and realize tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.   

Tis that time again

Today was WI.  I went expecting nothing - I wouldn't be shocked if I went up again and I would take it if I went down.
Well, today I went down 1.4   I figure factoring all my weeks history -okay I deserve that. 
No hooplah - no, you did wonderful cause I am so used to the yo-yo. 
I went to the dr yesterday and I think he FINALLY got it.  I went down the list of symptoms I have that seem to be getting worse and he agreed I am classical "by the book" now.  Apparently before I didn't follow word for word from the medical book so it just couldn't be  a whacky thyroid.   I am once again going for a raft of blood work but this time he threw in an extra couple of tests... one for fasting blood sugar and the other for a stool sample.  He wants to check for blood.  I can tell you the last two are going to come back normal as usual.  I find as long as I am within the normal range be it high on the range or low on the range the dr considers it normal so he doesn't do a darn thing about anything.
I don't have high hopes as you can tell - here's to the medical roller coaster.  I am just along for the ride.

A downer

oh wait, I said I was going to be positive on these posts... well I am positively right that I have gained another 2 lbs.
With my son having a dirt bike accident last friday and in and out of dr's appts and ER... then yesterday I started a nasty stress headache that has continued into today...

The gals at my ww meeting were so sweet and made excuses for me.  Problem is I am all out of excuses - its just plain ol' bad eating and not drinking enough.  I have said I was going to go get groceries for the past 5 days... haven't done it yet.  Honestly I don't feel like doing it - along with not feeling like doing many things. 
I am looking for that spark - that energy - that get up and go - that organization - where the heck did it go?  
I know WHAT I have to do - I just can't seem to find the energy to do it.  Someone mentioned to me today "chronic fatigue".  I am beginning to feel that way but I dislike it very much.  I want to be that go-getter where I get lots of stuff done in a day and you can actually notice it! 
I used to keep house, work, help in the barn, fields, can, watch my kids, etc etc... now I can barely get my dishes and laundry done, a bit of paperwork and I am exhausted and sleep like a baby (unless my cats are fighting over my side of the bed). 
I just don't get it . 
Well, now that I have that all out - here's to plugging away at another week. 

WI day

Today was WI day... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  (laughing hysterically!)  I did go to my meeting - had a good time - even after I weighed in!
I GAINED 4.8lbs this week. 
I was sick the week before and I guess this week I made up for it *smirk*.   I will admit I enjoyed a little too much cheese, miss vicky's chips and YES  a few chocolates... okay a whole bunch of chocolates! 
 I am once again testing fate.  I have been feeling not too bad health and headache wise it has been great...but I know that will come to an end if I don't smarten up.   Cheese and chocolate are 2 major triggers for my migraines. 
I got out my tracker today - started tracking then got WAY off track and never wrote it down.  Going to try and do better tomorrow.  I even got out my ol' water bottle that should be glued to my person cause I haven't been getting enough water in my lately either... it all adds up and in this case it adds up to 4.8 lbs!!!
I have a couple of meetings tomorrow which will eliminate and complete a bunch of work I have been wading thru these past few weeks.  Then I am going to sit down and do up about 6 weeks of menu plans.   That way I can get on track and have everything at my finger tips without thinking.   Maybe even my kids will jump on the wagon and do some cooking if they see what is planned.
Here's to a better week - working to get that 4.8 off!  Nip it in the butt before it gets too out of control.  Okay, step away from the cheese and chocolate...ch...ch...ch...

Twas a long week

This past week has been quite something.  I started out with a nasty cold of some sort.  I called it allergies gone wild.  It definitely dragged me down and forced me to the couch many times in the day to rest.  On top of it - 2 days ago (monday) I jumped out of bed, grabbed my housecoat to go down stairs to the kitchen... when I stepped on the top step the bottom of my foot felt like silk and out it went from under me... I reached around to grab the rail to catch my balance but missed... I promptly dropped onto my hip then hit my  lower shoulder/side of my ribs still trying to stop my fall by grasping at anything while sliding.  To no avail... I slid to the bottom of 14 carpeted stairs.   With the wind slightly knocked out of me, my chest and back muscles feeling very pulled and a bruised butt cheek I sat dazed waiting to see if the hurt would get worse or I was okay.  After a couple of minutes I felt good enough to move.  I was a tad sore but got better throughout the day... but... the next day wasn't so good!  I definitely feel that I had a tumble down some stairs.  Do I ever feel like a goof for doing that!  I have never fallen down stairs before. I have tripped going up tho and shin hacked myself  - or I have tripped going down but always caught myself right away with no muss or fuss.  It must be my age LOL.   Hubby said its cause I wasn't feeling well.   Its possible but I still feel pretty stupid about it.
With that said I weighed in today - I lost 2.6 lbs.   I am not going to say hurrah as I am still bouncing between 160 and 165... I will get more excited when I no longer have "60" in my #'s.   Besides I have been sick this week and not eating much will cause a bigger weight loss.
To rid these allergies gone wild I went to my usual reflexology appointment... when I got home I ended up blowing my nose using 6 kleenex's!  I haven't been able to breath this good for quite some time! 
So here's to another week.  I am feeling better and hoping to get back out and moving more since steps this week were at a minimum due to no energy. 
I am doing pretty good with getting across Canada - I am in a step challenge going West to East
I have gone thru HOPE, KAMLOOPS, SALMON ARM, REVELSTOKE, GOLDEN and BANFF.   I am now working my way to CALGARY.  I have about 45,000 more steps to make Calgary.. I try to do 10,000 steps a day, more if possible... then its a long stretch to MEDICINE HAT.
Here's to a better healthier week.

Without Guilt

Okay I have to laugh.  I am down what I gained last week. 0.4lbs.  One thing I have figured out is I seem to know how to maintain.  I just wish I was maintaining at my goal weight!
Not much new to say.  Just plugging along from day to day.  Health wise I have been dealing with plugged sinuses, sore throat and a bronchial cough.  But then again I have been eating foods that the naturepath said I was sensitive to.  Once I have finished getting my income tax all packaged up and sent away to the accountants I will be sitting down and making some meal plans so that I am a lot more organised!  I do believe that is where my biggest issue is. 
I keep getting told by many ppl, friends, profesionals etc that I have burned myself out.. I think I am starting to believe it cause I used to keep my house spotless, do all my hobbies, volunteer, do the farm, work off farm, canning, baking, premake meals for the freezer,  be involved with my kids schooling, etc, etc... there is just no possible way I can do that now. I fight on a daily basis to get the basics done.    I have been told it takes time to get my body back into balance... So now I have finally stopped denying the fact and am trying to let myself heal.  I have my good days and bad days.  People have to take me as I am - and my house as it is.  Oh, not to say my house doesn't bother me at times but if they drop in and its not perfect, oh well!  
I will get back on track on of these days but I am not going to fret over it.  Just get done whats necessary and chill with the rest.  There are days when I feel like baking but I no longer do 30 dozen cookies for the freezer, I only double the recipe... with that I still feel I have accomplished something but haven't over done it. I used to bake 20-30 apple pies in a day and put them in the freezer - now I do about 5-10 and the access I bag for later use - either apple sauce or pies for later.  I used to can 80-100 lbs of each kind of fruit, now i do 20-40lbs. - If I get strawberries or such for jam I may make a batch then freeze the rest so I can make more jam at a later date when I have the energy instead of staying up til midnight trying to complete it all. 
Which brings me to documenting my weight but not fretting over it.  I make sure I take time for myself - its a life long deal.   I am over guilt - I do what I can handle and no more.  
Is this age creeping up, maturity or common sense?  LOL I don't know - but I am going to peg it on slowing down and allowing myself to heal from the inside out without the guilt.

Ummmm....

Okay I am up - I am up 0.4lbs... I am headed in the wrong direction again and can't seem to stop the roller coaster.  I start out okay in the morning but by lunch its chomp, chomp, munch, munch, Did I eat all that?  *sigh*
glug glug glug - try to drown in water to undo some damage.

I would really like to break the 160 mark (at 164.4 AGAIN)  and stay BELOW.  Not sure what is going to get me to get organized.   Would weekly meal plans?  I do those then don't get the groceries to follow the plan.  I am lazy, lets face it... very very lazy.  I have a one track mind... I am getting to where I can only do or focus on one thing at a time.  Its all or nothing and right now I am tired.  Not a good time to be writing here as it will turn very negative and I promised myself I would keep this blog positive this year.  Get into the habit of being positive and hopefully it will become a habit.
With that said - my bed is calling and I will try and refocus tomorrow.

Another decision

I have had to make many decisions lately.  My latest is whether I continue with my naturepath or not.
I have come to the conclusion  it will be "not".
I will admit she has helped me in small areas.  She did an allergy test on me and showed me what foods to stay away from.  In doing so I have not had any acid reflux.  I thought I was sensitive to tomatoes but it is actually the citric acid in foods that is the issue.  If I eat fresh tomatoes it doesn't bother me - if I eat canned it does as they use citric acid as a preservative - it is truly amazing how many things have citric acid in it!
Back to my decision...
another area is I no longer feel bloated after I eat which again I believe its staying away from foods my body is sensitive to.  I have had to learn a whole new way of cooking and still not doing so good with that but I am getting there!
So that is the Pros...
The Cons... well they are many,

1. I had to quit my marathon training because I was getting weaker instead of stronger - truly didn't make sense
2. she wants me to drink "her" protien shakes but they make me very nauseous; I tried to tell her that but she changed one of the ingredients from flax to chiaseed and from flax oil to hemp oil... it made no difference ( I knew it wouldn't) cause its her protien powder that is making me ill but she won't hear that. Funny thing is she told me I was allergic to all rice - but her protein powder is a rice powder - when I brought it up to her she told me I will be fine taking it.  hmmmph.
3. I quit taking her supplements once again - as the first time it was making me have panic attacks - some ingredient in it I was very sensitive to... the second time (this last time) I was falling into a deep depression - when a person like me who has major drive, a go-getter and passionate about everything becomes a lump on the couch for 3 days and doesn't care about the world around me.. that is a major problem!  within a few days of not taking her supplements I am somewhat (not totally) back to "normal". 
4. Since taking her supplements I have had more night sweats than ever before - once I quit it has gone back to "normal"
5. I was always feeling tired and weak, light headed enough to nearly pass out - once I stopped the supplements I have got my energy back, can get up in the morning and get things done in a day
6. I have to admit I was not happy when she reprimanded me about losing more muscle than fat - I for a fact know that you can change that number on the scale within an hour - depending on what you do - eat more, drink more etc.
7. I still get the discomfort/pain under my ribs -
8. when I started on her program I had a constant sore throat - once I quit taking her throat spray that was supposed to boost my immune system the sore throat left too.
9. She doesn't comunicate - she sets a timer when you walk in the room and she asks a couple of questions and "ring!" times up! Her salesman secretary (male) doesn't stop talking about how "wonderful her products are" and "they are the best" "better than anyones out there".  I hate high pressure sales especially when they are trying to sell me something expensive and I really don't think it will help me.  He is always talking vegetarian and I am not a vegetarian and never plan to be one.

Now I know she will say that it is all apart of detoxing but you know what?  I don't want to land in the hospital with panic attacks & depression from detoxing!  I can totally do without that!

I had a chat with my Reflexologist - she is also a Registered Nurse and very much into natural healing.  I have learned to trust her totally.  We discussed my last 10 - 15 years and how much stress my body has been under.  She suggested (key word! suggested) that my body was needing to recouperate from burnout.  She felt that my body was reacting to more stress being put on it from the detox thus giving me the panic attacks and depression.  She mentioned it is probably a good thing that I quit the marathon training as it was putting too much pressure on my already stressed/burnedout body.   She told me to definitely go on walks, definitely exercise but don't put a marathon stress on it.  Let my body heal.   Take an hour out of the day and listen to nature, do my regular 'have to do' jobs but let my body heal from the burnout.  My body can't take much more without tipping the scale too far - bring my body back into balance before challenging it more.
She suggested that now is not the time to be detoxing as it only puts more strain on my already strained body - maybe once I have healed from the burnout I can go back and try again.  She made SO MUCH SENSE!!!
Now why wouldn't the naturepath catch onto that?  Why wouldn't she tell me to let my body heal instead of hitting it with more stressers?   My naturepath did say that I had probably reached burnout (briefly and in passing).  But never elaborated on it and never said what to do about it.  I am getting more from my reflexologist, comfort, understanding, no timed visits ( I am there for an hour but if we get talking sometimes I end up being there for 1.5 - 2 hours!), and suggested advice that makes sense.

Yes, I think it is time to just go easy (never thought I would ever ever say that!) let my body heal.  Do what I love to do, what I have to do and deal with everyday stress and not add any more.  AND key words; NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

In conclusion, although I don't feel this naturepath has helped me (as much as I wanted) I DO know she has helped my mother HUGE!  My mom was VERY sick a year ago - had been for about 2 years when she was introduced to this naturepath.  It has been a year for my mom and she has lost 40 lbs, has gone from severe sleep apnea to mild, from no energy and depression to lots of energy and spring cleaning her house!  My mom had reached burnout too but that was 15 years ago.. her body has had time to heal.
For myself I think it is just too soon. I reached burnout about 4 years ago but never stopped.  My body needs to rest from working so hard battling burnout.  

Now that I have written this I need to repeat it to my naturepath... I cancelled my appt with her yesterday as something had come up that I had to do... think I will send her an email and see what she says.  But I have made up my mind.  I will stay on the food program (avoiding trigger foods) but otherwise I will no longer have appts with her - maybe in a year or so when I feel my body can handle stress again; or maybe I will just go back for another allergy test and see where I am at... time will tell.

Don't knock me

Well, I have made up my mind.  I am not going to do the Marthon in Vancouver Washington.  There are far too many Cons.   It is a 5 hour drive one way, It will cost $500 for hotel, it is at the end of April and we will be crazily in the fields doing spring planting or cropping.  There are more reasons but you get the drift.
I can very easily find a marathon here as they are happening all the time (I am on an email list from the Running room).   I will possibly continue the saturday walks but with our fabulous weather we have been outside getting things done and I've gotta "make hay while the sun shines"!  No we are not making hay right now but the way our mild winter is going and Spring coming up fast... I wouldn't be surprised if we weren't making hay soon! Or at least silage...
I have had to do a lot of thinking about this - it was a hard decision but I think its for the best.  I certainly won't be stopping getting my steps in! No way, I am doing a challenge of walking across Canada and I am Just outside of Golden BC heading for Banff AB.   Might visit a few cyber friends along the way! Or maybe I will just wave on my way by  LOL
Cheers!

WI and Record

I have managed to lose 2 lbs this week.  Do I sound excited? Nope... I just lost the weight I gained last week.  I would be well below 160 if I wouldn't have gained last week.
I have been battling depression... not sure why... but most days I make myself a list of things to do and maybe do one thing.  I have had no get-up-and-go I just feel blah.  Could really care less whether something gets done or not and yet it bugs me that its not getting done but so far I am managing to ignore that feeling.  Where has my drive gone?  Down the tube with all the water I have been drinking, maybe. LOL

Okay, pitty party over... I did however try on some clothes in my closet that I bought last fall at a summer blow out sale.  It was too small, in more places than one but I got them with the hopes of fitting them one day.  Well, my wedding anniversary was on Feb 27 and I needed something to wear... I put them on and to my surprise they fit!  Not perfectly in the boobs (a little snug) but thats okay!  I am sure my boobs will continue to shrink with my weight loss LOL

I did some measuring again.  To try and cheer myself up.  Its been a month since I did it last and have lost 4.5 inches off this body.

                                  Feb 3                        Mar 3        

Neck                           15                              14
Chest                          41                              40
Waist                          36                               34.5
Hips                            40                               39
R arm                         11.75                          12   
R thigh                        22                                22.5                     

I am wondering if my leg and arm size went up cause of all the walking I have been doing and I have started to use my arms quite a bit too.  Arms with the walking stix and swimming.

So there you have it... the bare me.

 A little story I have to share about my Mom.  Mom was 0.8lbs away from getting her 40lb loss award today... she lost 0.4!  SO CLOSE!  Next week she will surely do it...but she was SO CLOSE! She is taking it in stride and says "til next weigh in". 

Feb 27 Colony Farm 18 km

Yesterday we did a shorter walk thru Colony Farm and Poco North Trail... in total about 18km.

Colony Farm has a huge history here linked with a main psychatric hospital named Riverview. It was a real going concern for a long time.  From a farmers perspective it has been left dormant and unworked since 1983 but from the Provincial perspective it has been turned into Park.  A cluster of buildings still continue to be used to house Forensic Psych patients.
  I have found these links that gives a lot of the history and many pictures.
http://colony-farm.blogspot.com/  and an article on the "now" is at Colony farm Hidden oasis

So with that said...
My day started out with a relatively sunny outlook -  NOT.  The rain had been a torrential downpour between 5am & 7am.. the weatherman said it was to get better as the day progressed but I made sure I dressed for the worst.

Arrived at Colony Park around 7:45am... the rain still doing the soaker thing. Some of the walkers use latex gloves over their mitts to keep the hands dry.

The group shot... a few are still on holiday but should be back next week which means the walking pace will speed up more when our fast walkers come back...

Once we reached 0.6km we stopped for some warmed up stretches - not sure why I was making that funny face! LOL  oh yes, I had my walking poles today - had a major hill to climb and thought they would come in handy!

Our photographer can capture some pretty nice photo's - thought I would share this one as I think it deserves a frame!

We were told "chin up!" from the photographer. LOL it was said to eliminate any double chins.  Actually what it was really for... if we were wearing a hat it would shine light on our face for the camera so it would show  up our face.  hehe

Diane and I didn't listen too well LOL  She waved and I nodded.

One very important item on our walks - especially walks at this length - are washrooms.  We always look at our directions and note where the next bathroom will be.  Sometimes they aren't much but I tell yah, when you have to go you don't care what they look like as long as you can use it!   these ones were at the start of our walk.

Todays walk took us thru a lot of different terrain and landscape

paved paths

under bridges

gravel walks... I don't have a picture to show it but we also crossed a busy highway, walked alongside apartment buildings, houses ...and thru the grounds of Riverview Hospital before returning to our vehicles

Here we have made it to our turn around point... 9 km to get back - I was lagging again... they had to wait for me to catch up to take the photo - we held up our poles and they wanted me to walk thru the middle but I barely had the energy to lift my poles - or maybe I wasn't in the mood...  I am having issues with myself always being in the rear, last one and not able to keep up... but I try to keep reminding myself its a marathon not a race!

I carried my poles most of the way.. mostly using them on the hills... on the way back I started to use them a bit more.  You see they tend to bother my shoulders so I am trying to slowly break into them.  The first time I used them the whole time I got a major migraine - not being a fan of migraines I have realized I really have to take it slow and let my body get used to them.

This day was somewhat difficult on my body again although nothing near as painful as last week.  This time I struggled with the falling behind... throughout this walk I had convinced myself I was going to quit - couldn't do these Saturday walks anymore...I wasn't going to go and do the marathon in Vancouver Washington - I have yet to book my hotel room... Then after I convinced myself to quit - I then convinced myself that I can't be a quiter - I have to finish what I started - I will feel so good once I have completed it.  But then the negativity would plow thru my thoughts and I would think - its a 5 hour drive one way, gonna cost me $500 for hotel, its April and we will be in the fields farming, hubby will need me (he won't be going with me) - who really cares if I do a marathon?   

Yes, I have been battling with this decision.- back and forth, back and forth...  If the marathon was closer maybe I wouldn't have such an issue - but its not just distance and where... its can my body do it?  I seem to be getting weaker instead of stronger, slower instead of faster... it bugs me big time.. I AM the youngest in the group and I can't keep up!  Crazy... still deciding...

February 20 Mud Bay 22 km

This particular day I had to be up by 5am and have our guests from Luxembourg at the airport to check in for thier flight by 7am (an hour or more drive depending on traffic)  I hadn't worked the night before (usual shift being 4-midnight on a friday) cause I knew this day (saturday) would be tough.  BUT I was scheduled to work 4-midnight this day!

This was the hardest walking I have ever done BUT it was the most beautiful day!
I wasn't feeling 100% when I arrived and it was an 8am start as we were doing 22km and like to meet everyone for lunch by noon.  We have actually started a staggered start... as it takes longer for marathoners so we start an hour earlier than half marathoners and the 10k'ers start half hour after that.

So this day I am wearing my knee brace as my knee seemed to be giving me a very rough time over the week.  I knew the trail would be flat which I felt was a big bonus but in the end I think I over compensated with the knee brace and did more harm than good .

Group photo

the weather was great - it was cold starting out but the sun warmed things up really fast.  No hats really needed today unless you were trying to keep the sun out of your eyes.  You can see some frost on the ground and fog over the water but that disappeared quick.

Some of our beautiful scenery

Along this route we were being watched very closely... there were so many eagles!

One thing about these long fast paced walks... when you get 11km from your vehicle... you still have to go 11 km to get BACK to your vehicle... My knee brace was giving me grief - when I was sweating my brace would slide down about half an inch - twice I stopped to adjust it as it was causing blisters around my knee cap cause it wouldn't stay in place.  I have lost weight since I bought it and am wondering if that is why it was sliding so much too.  stopping to do anything is not a good option with this group if you don't want to run to keep up... In this case I had to keep every bit of energy into thinking about anything other than getting back to the truck.  Once one starts to "want" to be back the trail gets VERY long.  My thoughts drifted to the farms we walked by and the manure smell from them spreading on the fields...to the eagles in trees or on power poles watching me walk by and me making sure I wasn't in any line of fire... I kept the group within sight but I was definitely slowing down and in a lot of pain.  I ached from head to toe!  I've never felt this way on a walk before.

Here is a photo of Diane and I about a km away from the turn around point

I DID make it back to the truck and I DID complete the 22km - So I am told I would have completed more than a half marathon.   Upon finishing I was DONE!!!  I didn't go to the lunch as it can take a very long time for orders and it was an hour drive home (approximately) - I went directly home, carefully crawled into a hot tub with epsom salts... dragged myself out half hour later and flopped into bed for an hour and a half nap... crawled out of bed and dragged myself to work.  When I got home that night there was no need to do anything to "wind down" I flopped into bed and slept like a log!

Not so good but I'll take it

WI this week wasn't fun - one because I had a bad week food wise and two I gained a little over 2 lbs.  Yeah, not happy.  I have fallen into a pretty good grumpy depression.  I had to get a grip and get my water in - that I am finding, is very hard.  Having to drink 3-4 litres a day...and keep track - I guess I am getting tired of the "discipline".  Getting bored with the food - I am not a cook - I hate cooking - I like fast... with my food plan I can't be fast - everything has to be made from scratch.  There are things I have to eat that my family won't so I am making more than one meal at a meal time.  It is a whole new way of eating and cooking... and when one wishes someone else would take over the meal planning, cooking, dishes... yeah I seem to be fighting this whole thing... I know it has done me a world of good but it is a lot of work and planning.  I have to get my mind set on doing this and stop sabatouging myself - my feelings are real but I have to fight to stay positive.
I'll do it... its taking longer than I would like... but I will get there.

Not bad... Oh yeah its Good!

After sts one week then gaining 0.4lbs the next, struggling with panic attacks.. this week I dropped 3.6 lbs.  WOW! 
How did I do it?  I tried to stay as close to my personalized program as possible (yes, I had 3 heart chocolates on valentines day AND I had a piece of chocolate cake for my mom's birthday). BUT  I increased my water intake (doctors orders) and I have been getting more walking in.   The increasing my water is helping flush my system and I no longer get those panic attacks.  The dr was telling me I was detoxing but not flushing it out which was causing radical bad toxins to float in my body and do nasty things.  I feel  much better now that I am drinking more. 
Yesterday I gave blood too - try to do this regularily - next appt is in April.  I met another WW gal at the hall and we joked on "amazing what one will do to lose weight eh?!"  LOL  I asked her what a pint of blood weighs and she said "16oz"  without hesitation LOL..  She is our receptionist at my weekly meeting - she is the one I go to to weigh me in (there are 3 scales).  I always try to wiegh in on the same scale all the time - although I have weighed in on all of them and they are the same. 
So here's to another week... will see what it brings

Pitt/Maple Dyke 22 K today

Well, I guess its not today.. it was Saturday February 13th.  It started out as a dry walk but became very windy and the last 4 KM it was raining (spitting heavily). 
The trail was beautiful - walked thru farm land - and a whole bunch of hunters were out and about looking (and shooting) at geese.  Later in the morning many were out walking thier dogs - tossing balls for them to catch.  All dogs were cute and well behaved.   along this walk we saw a field of Herons - I counted several times and kept getting a different number but there was at least 14 or more!

Cranberry and blueberry fields

Dairy farms all along - hard to see in this photo - my camera does not do well with zoom so you mainly get a peek at thier fields.

this was truly an uh oh!  this fellow had his whole "house" on a barge.. his van, shed, home everything and it has had a "spill"  More than half of this barge is under water.

Its cloudy and windy but there was still beautiful scenery... looking at these mountains you now know how warm it is here.. nair a patch of snow to be seen.

Here is a portion of the trail we walked (a wee portion) I am awaiting on some more photo's - soon to arrive - to prove I was there! LOL

Last wednesday

It was a weigh in day for me... only 2 more days and I will be weighing in again - where did this week go?
I gained 0.4lbs last week - not bad considering.  Seem to be getting better on the controlling myself and staying on the Naturepaths program she has personalized for me.   i did have a couple of chocolates for valentines this week - other than that I have been pretty good. 
I have been having trouble with the "shakes" she wants me to drink. They are a meal replacement but they make me ill; really nauseous.  She tried to change some ingredients in it but I don't think she is changing the right one... I told her what I think is bothering me but so far she ain't listening.  She isn't going to be happy  when I tell her that with the changes I still feel nauseous when I drink it. 
Other than that - all is going well - I had to increase my water intake as I wasn't getting enough and it seemed to be a big reason why I was getting those panic attacks.  Her theory was I was detoxing but not flushing it out so all these toxins were radically floating around in my body causing havoc.   So far so good now that I am chugging more water.

Well, its time to report my walk on saturday -

Should have been 16 km in Burnaby

Yes, I should be posting my 16 K walk in Burnaby today... from Saturday Feb 6...
On the friday @ 5am I woke up with a headache and I was so tired... we had herd health and I had the Sears repair guy show up to finish repairing my dishwasher.  Went out for a farm staff lunch as usual but decided when I got home I had to lay down as my head wasn't getting much better.  After an hour it was blooming into a migraine.  I am trying NOT to take any medication (heavy duty stuff) so decided to go and have a hot shower.  After my shower I rubbed a topical anti inflamitory onto my shoulders, neck and temples.   In doing this it helped keep it at bay so I could do my 4pm to midnight shift.
I knew that going to the walk on saturday would be pushing my body too far... I would surely have a full blown migraine if I did.  So I stayed home. 
The silly thing is I tried to sleep in and I woke up at 6am thinking if I am going I better get up (had to be at the skytrain no later than 8am) but knowing I would suffer later I forced myself to stay put.

No excitement, no drama, no pictures... Sorry.
Next week I have given my shift away and I have company coming from Europe - hmmm, maybe they will join me on the walk... its off to Maple Ridge.

WI and Record

This week I knew was a bomb.  I really struggled with many things and many aspects.  Emotionally, physically and mentally.  In trying to keep positive today I knew I hadn't lost anything - at WI I STS.  I am okay with that.  I didn't gain even after such a horrible week.  I am starting to get my head around the fact that the numbers on the scale aren't everything...its how I feel, do my clothes fit better...
Even though I STS I needed something more.  I needed to see some sort of #'s that would give me a positive outlook - so I decided it was time I measured myself again.

Jan 14                                Feb 3
Neck 15                              15
Bust 44                                41
Waist 38                             36
Hips 41                               40
R arm 12 1/4                      11 3/4
R thigh 23                           22

Total loss 7.5 inches
That.... my friend... made my day and week!

Bear Creek Park 13 Km

January 30 was a wet day for our walk.  It was wet but not really cold if one dressed right.  It was also a less Km walk - giving us a break before the really loooooong ones! 

Group photo!  I wore a different coat this time... thinking it would be a better rain coat than my running room one.. well I was wrong - it must not have the "protection" on it anymore.  Will have to spray it.  None the less it kept me warm.  I am the one in the center with the colorful coat (yellow hat, purple, turquoise, red pockets)   

In the parking lot waiting for everyone to show up... or 9am which ever came first.  See the lady in the white coat?  She is shorter than me but can she ever motor!! There is no way I can keep up with her - and it is known by all that she is actually holding back so others can keep up with her.  Don't know how she walks so fast and she looks so relaxed and natural!

Walking thru Bear Creek Park - don't get much time checking it out but it was a beautiful start (and end) to our walk.

 

Walking along the powerline trail... which was most of our walk.  Cars were very respectful in letting us cross the road when we arrived at the "unlighted" cross walks... honestly I wouldn't have minded waiting a minute or two for a vehicle so I could rest up before continueing :)

I used some walking sticks this time - It gave a better workout (upper body) but left me with one heck of a migraine later! Even with stretching and an epsom salts bath... I went to bed that night at 8pm with a hot water bottle and muscle linoment.

Not too sure...

Not too sure how my week will be... I went off the wagon last wednesday to friday (some of saturday)... its tough when you go somewhere and they are serving... literally serving your plate and hand it to you.   Requests are nil. 
I have jumped back on again and hopefully I can keep the weight going in a downward slope. 
One thing I did find out tho... I have been reacting to one or some of the supplements that the Dr gave me.  I finally started doing some research -
this is what I found.. Green Tea (camellia sinensis) leaf can cause panic attacks - it can cause trouble sleeping, restlessness, tremors and mental/mood changes.   
Green tea is in 2 of my supplements... I have discontinued their use - one I don't think I need anyway.. never made any difference when I was on or off.   But the other I may in time try to introduce it back... but key words "in time".   I understand that healing sometimes means you have to go backwards before you go forwards but there are certain things that I feel would be more detrimental to my healing and my families wellbeing - and that is panic attacks.
With that said I had a good 13 Km walk a couple of days ago - pictures & post to be up soon.